Actions and Reactions
by krixtin
Summary: this story starts a month after Jax and the guys are arrested. Its gonna mostly be Tara's POV. Its my first fic, please be kind. Rated M for language and possible violence and sex themes.
1. Chapter 1

A/N I don't owe anything, and this is my first fic ever, please let me know what you all think please.

Chapter One

Tara lay on her back in her bed absent mildly rubbing her hand over her growing baby bump. Its been a month since Jax was hauled away in the back of an ATF van, its been a month since she has seen him. He had visitation every Saturday but Tara couldn't bring herself to go there yet. How do you look at the love of your life and not tell him his father died believing his wife, Jax's mother, and his best friend killed him? Especially when he's in prison with the man who was in on the kill. Tara didn't want anything to jeopardize Jax coming home to her and their kids, and her knowing Jax top to bottom, knows he would kill Clay if there was any truth in John's letters. She also knew herself, and she's awful at keeping secrets from Jax. He could look right through her. So Tara avoided Jax. When she could figure out a way to look at him without blurting on the letters, she would visit him.

The first two weeks Tara said she couldn't be spared from the hospital, it was too short staffed. These last two weeks Tara couldn't make it because one Saturday was the Taste of Charming fundraiser that she was in charge of with Gemma on house arrest. And the last Saturday Tara had to go visit Nate at the retirement home, he was having some blood pressure issues and they needed his power of attorney to make some medical decisions. She still wrote him at least two letters a week and told him she loves him, but Jax was starting to feel worried and anxious. Its been a month since he had seen her. Wasn't she missing him? Didn't she think it would make him feel so much better to just look into her eyes, to see for himself that her and the baby were ok? Seriously fuck! She was held with a knife against her throat not that long ago. Every week he went down to the visiting room hoping to see Tara would show, but every week Opie or Chibs came instead.

"Ope, how's Tara doing?" "She's ok, I can tell she's holding stuff in, she seems distracted most the time. But what do you expect? She's been through hell and back in the last couple months." "yeah", was all Jax said in response. " What's on your mind man?" "I don't know. In Gemma's last letter she said she barely sees Tara, Neeta's usually the one running Able back and forth. I guess im just worried Tara's distancing herself from everyone, you know like slipping away…" his voice trailed off. "Jax, Taras not slipping away. She's been over at my house a lot lately. Shes been helping Lyla plan wedding stuff and watching the kids so Lyla and I can go out. She was at the clubhouse the other night cause she knew it was fight night and figured someone would end up needing stitches. My guess would be that Tara doesn't want to deal with Gemma telling her how to be queen bee. Tara made a joke a couple weeks ago about how Gemma'll probably hired spies to photograph shit at the Taste of Charming fundraiser so she could tell Tara what she fucked up." Jax chuckled at that, it honestly wasn't that far fetched of an idea. " God I hope that's it, because I cant top thinking she's gonna be half way around the world by the time I get out of here," Jax finished by putting his head in his hands and heaving a deep sigh. Opie reached over and tapped Jax's elbow, when Jax looked up and looked in Opies eye, Opie continues "Tara walked in on you and Ima, you told her she wasn't family, then she was held hostage, and lastly she transported an international criminal for us. She isn't going anywhere man, she wouldn't go through all of that and then ditch cause you're in prison. You do not have anything to worry about brother."

Jax was back in his cell. He was pretty lucky his cellmate was a member f the Grim Bastards and pretty much kept to himself, his name was Jerome. Jax decided to write Tara a letter. _Hey babe, I miss you so much. Its becoming unbearable and its only been a month. I really wish you could get up here soon. You have no idea how badly I need to touch your soft skin, see your amazing smile, and breath you in. You and the babies are the only thing keeping me sane in here. I cant wait to see you chubby! I've known you since we were 16 and haven't ever seen you with an ounce of fat of ya darling. If you can make it this weekend please bring pictures of you and Abel. I gotta show you guys off to all the guys in here who have never seen the most beautiful women in the world. :P _

_I love you, totally, completely, unconditionally _

_Jackson_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I don't own anything, this story is just for fun and to keep me busy until season 4 starts, which feels like a million years away still…Thanks so much for the great reviews already.

**Chapter 2**

Tara woke up Tuesday morning with a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach. She knew it wasn't baby related, it was a feeling of fear. Something awful was gonna happen today, she could feel it deep in her bones. It was the same feeling she had the day she went to get an abortion which turning into getting held hostage. She finally pushed herself out of bed and jumped into the shower before Abel woke up.

After the shower and getting herself and Abel dressed, she made up a bowl of cereal for herself and cut some bananas up for Abel. He was now ten months old and eating finger food. His 2 bottom teeth had just came in last week, and boy he wasn't a happy camper about that. Abel was loving up his breakfast when a pounding was heard on the front door. Tara jumped up and grabbed the gun in her purse and cautiously peeked out the door. It was Opie with a man she didn't know. She opened the door fully and said, " Opie, you should of called first, you scared me half to death!," and she quickly hid the gun on the shelf by the door before she held out her arm as to invite the men into the house. They went in and headed straight to the kitchen where you could see and hear Abel laughing and enjoying breakfast still.

"Sorry Tara, I wasn't thinking. This is Pretty Pete. He's from the Vegas charter, he's gonna be helping the club out when everyone is on the inside."

"Okay, nice to meet you Pretty Pete," Tara said with a little smirk. Truth be told, Pete was pretty. He looked about 6'6", had a strong athletic body, his skin was a dark olive color, must be part Italian, and his skin looked like it would be soft to the touch. Oh and his eyes were so dark she could barely see his pupils. She held her hand out to him and he kissed the back of it like she was a queen. "I'm Dr. Tara Knowles, Jax's old lady."

"Anyway Tara, he's your new bodyguard, Jax and Clay," but he was cut short by Tara's angry voice,

"NO! I don't want a bodyguard Opie that's completely unnecessary!"

"Calm down sweetheart," Opie said as Abel started whimpering from Tara's angry raised voice. Tara bent over and picked him up out of his highchair before continuing her rant, " seriously though, more than half the crew is inside and you want to spare someone to watch over me? I've been fine for the last month on my own, what happened Ope?"

"We got some intel yesterday that the Russians are pissed about what happened with Jimmy O and might strike us when we're weak. Since you and Gemma have been made targets before, Clay sent word that you two had better be protected. And since Chibs and Kozik are rotating shifts watching Gemma, you're stuck with Pretty Pete and myself." Opie finished with a little bow

Tara's heart sank as she listened to Opie. She knows that having a life with Jax means having a life with a constant threat of violence, but fuck she needs a bodyguard now? " Opie, shouldn't you be more concerned about Lyla and your kids?"

"Tara, Jax is the VP. If someone wants to hurt the club, they're gonna go after the generals, not the mere soldiers."

After Opie left Tara made small talk with Pretty Pete. He grew up in Wisconsin but moved out west when he turned 18 saying he had to get away form the cows, which made Tara laugh. He seemed easy enough to talk to. When Tara started to walk to the door, Pete jumped up,

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Just to get the mail, calm down killer." Tara thought its gonna get real old telling someone her every move.

"I'll get it," and then Pete was out the door. Tara didn't argue, today was her day off from the hospital, she wanted to just be lazy anyway. When Pete returned inside he handed her the few envelopes. She immediately saw the small print of Jax's handwriting and ripped open her latest letter.

After finishing it she felt incredibly guilty. It wasn't Jax's fault she found those letters and her curiosity made her read them. She decided then and there she was going to see him this Saturday no matter what. She'd just have to figure out to keep her secret hidden. She started a letter, _Hey baby, I miss you too. Its pretty hard falling asleep without your warm chest and beating heart under my head.. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to see you yet, but I promise come hell or high water I will be there this Saturday. My life has been pretty busy between work, club responsibilities, being Abel's prime care giver, and puking every two hours so I doubt you will have many thing to brag about me to the other inmates about. And by the way, you can't call the woman carrying your baby chubby. Its just not nice Teller! So I have a bodyguard now. Pretty Pete from Vegas. I'm sure you know him. He seems pretty cool. Anyway, I got to go. Its Kenny's birthday and we're throwing him a little party at Gemma's. I love you and am counting down the days until Saturday. Love, Tara_

Tara finished the letter and sealed it up. As Pete brought it out to the mailbox Tara started packing Abel's diaper bag. She had to run and get Kenny a present still before the party started. As she drove the Cutlass to downtown she had a feeling of importance, like the President felt when he always had an escort there ready to die to protect him. Pretty Pete followed her inside the toy store and scoped every person out like they had had a gun hidden in their pocket. As she was walking down the aisles pushing Abel in a cart, someone yelled out, "Tara Knowles is that you?"

Tara turned around but before she could see who it was Pete blocked her view and said, "Who's asking?"

"I'm Matt, Matt Thompson. Who are you?" Before Pete could respond, Tara had pushed past him and was hugging Matt. "Oh my God Matt! I haven't seen you in 15 years! How are you? You still living in Allenstown (small town near Charming) ?"

As they broke apart Matt answered, "No, I live out in San Diego, I'm an investment banker now. Just visiting the parents." He looked over at the at Abel and then at the biker, "still with Jax I see." "yeah, I am" was all Tara could say.

Back in high school she worked at a restaurant and Matt had been the cook there. They were pretty close and after work most nights they'd toke up together. Until her and Jax hooked up, then all her free time was spent with him. Matt didn't hid his bitterness towards Jax, and they drifted apart.

After a long awkward moment Matt said, "Well it was nice seeing you Tara." "You too." They hugged again and Tara started back towards the Matchbox cars.

Tara arrived at Gemma's about an hour before the party started. As she walked through the kitchen door she realized she hadn't been in here for longer than 5 minutes since the day Jax saved her from Salazar. It was hard to be around Gemma without asking her the questions that kept her awake at night. Gemma came into the kitchen with a big smile on her face, she gave Pete a confused glace but continued up to Tara and took Abel out of her arms and kissed his cheeks.

She then turned to Tara, " hey baby, how you doing?"

"I'm good. I got a bodyguard today, this is Pretty Pete, Gemma Teller." Tara made the introduction and Pete kissed Gemma's hand the same way he kissed Tara's. "Pleasure to meet you darlin'" he told Gemma.

Just then Chibs came walking down the hallway. "Hey Pete, come help me hang these banners for the laddies party."

As the men walked away Tara and Gemma started getting the food all set up as Abel bounced happily in his bouncer that Gemma kept for his visits.

"You seem quiet," Gemma observed after several silent minutes.

"I just have a lot running thought my mind Gemma."

"Like what?"

Tara was actually thinking about how this was John and Gemma's house, how could she murder her husband, the father of her children and continue to live in the house they shared? But instead she answered, " like… I'm stuck working 6 days a week cause we're so under staffed, how Jax is going to be gone for another 13 months, I just ran into Matt Thompson and he looked so, I don't know disappointed in me, and I'm so tired and sore and nausea all the god damn time, and now to top it all off there's a Russian threat and I have a babysitter!" Her voice had risen more and more throughout her rant. It was the shocked expression on Gemma's face that made her stop yelling. "I'm sorry Gemma, I'm just"

"Pregnant and alone." Gemma finished for her and gave her a tight hug. Tara returned her hug. Maybe John was wrong. From what she has heard about John, he was a broken man after Thomas's death. Hell he even had an affair and an illegitimate child he hid from Gemma. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he was wrong she kept telling herself. Seriously, Gemma could be a complete cold hearted bitch but could she really kill her husband? Tara pulled back from Gemma and smiled.

"Yeah pregnant and alone, hey I'm going to visit Jax on Saturday, do you mind watching Abel? Around 11?

"Of course not baby. Give Jax a kiss for me."

"Of course."

The party had a nice turn out. Piney, Opie, Lyla, Mary, Kozik, Chibs, Gemma, Tara, Pete, Kenny, Ellie, Piper, and about 6 or 7 boys from Kenny's class all had a nice meal of mac and cheese with hotdogs in it, and corn on the cob. Its Kenny's favorite meal. Then the kids attacked a piñata and hit up the Wii before the cake was brought out. After Kenny tore through his presents everyone started to leave. Tara stayed behind to help with the clean up.

"Where do you want me to start Gemma?"

"Tara baby, go home. Kozik can help me finish up cleaning, you can leave Abel here, go get some rest!"

"Are you sure Gemma? I don't mind helping. Its my Old Lady duty." She smirked a little cause Gemma was always telling her how to be a good old lady and what duties she now had.

"Take Tara home now Pete." Was Gemma's reply.

On the way home Tara decided to stop at a gas station. She was craving Rocky Road ice cream and some Nacho Cheese Doritos, oh and maybe some sweet tarts, too. God being pregnant is like a serious case of the munchies, Tara thought laughing slightly to herself. As she got out of her car, Pete was right there waiting to walk her in.

"Sorry Pete, I got some crazy cravings right now."

"No problem Hun. My ex old lady ate some really nasty shit too when she was pregnant with my kid."

"I didn't know you had a kid"

"Yeah, I got a son, Brady. Hes 6."

Tara led them directly to the freezer. As she yanked the door open Pete saw a gun reflected in the glass, held by a man directly behind him. He whipped around pulling out his own gun. But it was to late. The man already fired his gun and hit Pete right in the chest. Pete staggered backwards and fell on top of Tara. Both hit the ground unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I don't own anything and just to let you know, I had the first three chapters ready when I started this story so there might be a little break before the next update. Thanks so much for all the love I've been getting, its greatly appreciated.

A/N I have never been to a prison, I don't really know the rules so I will be making up my own. Same goes with injuries. All I know about medicine is what I see on Grey's Anatomy so I will be winging it. Thanks again for the support!

**Chapter 3**

It was Monday morning. Jax woke up but refused to open his eyes. The longer he kept them closed the longer he could pretend he was in his and Tara's bed waking up next to her. He was having flashbacks to all the times he woke with her beautiful head on his chest and her hand over his stomach rubbing it lightly in small circles. Some mornings he'd be awoken by Tara's hand rubbing his stomach and moving lower and lower until her hand was flirting with his boxers waistband, then when she knew he was awake she'd go in for the kill and take him in her hand until he could barely breath. He never let her finish him off, it was always better to share an orgasm with her so he'd roll on top of her and enjoy all of her. Those were his favorite mornings. He had always thought that sex with the same woman over and over would get boring. Before Tara he never thought about being faithful. Even being married to Wendy he still screwed any willing croweater he could get a hold of. But when he was with Tara it was like time stood still. It was like when he was inside of her he was complete. No orgasm he ever had with any other woman compared to the ones he shared with Tara. Jerome got off his cot grunting which brought Jax out of his daydreams. With a sigh he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. Another day in hell. He thought bitterly.

As Jax sat at a table with the rest of SAMCRO eating the crap they call eggs and pancakes, Jerome and some of his crew came by.

"Hey guys, I gotta talk to you." he took the open seat next to Jax and leaned his head in. The guys followed suit. "I just heard from a good friend that the Russians are planning a retaliation against the Sons. I don't know what you guys did but I thought I'd give you a fair warning." Jerome stood and walked away.

"Clay you better fucking call Rosen! Get Opie on Tara 24/7! I'm not gonna risk her getting caught up in another bullshit retaliation plot!" Jax yelled as he jumped up running his hands through his hair, if anyone hurt her or the baby, Jax didn't think he could handle it. They were the only things keeping him going. If anyone touched her, every person related to the fucker would be dead, he could guarantee that.

Tig reached up and put a hand on Jax's shoulder pulling him back down, "calm down brother," he hissed, "no need to make a scene."

"No need! This is my fucking pregnant old lady you're talking about! Of course you wouldn't care. You don't give a shit about anything that doesn't effect you. Right brother?" Jax bite out the last word.

"Shut up Jax!" Clay bellowed. The guard gave Clay an angry glare before looking away. After he did, Clay continued quietly, " Jax we don't know who's listening right now. We'll pick this up in the yard. I'm going to go call Rosen right away. See you guys in the yard." With that Clay walked away and Jax went back to angrily jabbing at his food.

Juice leaned over and said quietly, "Man, you gutted Salazar, everyone knows you weren't acting in self defense, you were protecting your women. No one would be stupid enough to come after her again."

"I really hope you're right Juice," was all he said as Jax walked away. He went immediately to

the workout area. Pumping iron helped distract him and it kept his hands busy. As he lay on his back lifting weights, he thought about the night he had met Tara.

_Jax was 2 months shy of his 17th__ birthday and was out riding his bike to a party at his buddy Paul's house. Riding down a back road he saw a small pickup truck on the side of the road with a flat tire. He also a tire iron, a jack, a spare tire, and a very confused looking girl. He pulled over and took his helmet off. _

"_Need some help darling?"_

_She looked at him with a smile but a look of hesitation in her eyes, " Yes please, I'm at a total lost here. If its no problem that is."_

"_It's no problem sweetheart, I'm Jax, Jackson Teller." with that he held out his hand. She took it and shook it. She was staring so intently at him he felt like he was naked._

"_I'm Tara Knowles."_

"_Do you have a flashlight Tara? Its getting dark"_

"_Yeah, there is one in the glove box, just a sec." She hurried to the passenger side and came back with a light. _

"_You don't go to Charming High" Jax stated._

"_No, my mom died when I was 9 and my dad didn't know how to handle me when I hit puberty so he sent me a Catholic girls school."_

"_Hold the light right…here," he said as he guided her hands to where he needed the light. As soon as his hands touched hers, his whole body perked up. Almost like he got a small jolt of electricity fly through him. By the confused look and blush creeping up her face, Jax knew she felt it too. _

"_My dad died too. When I was 13." He was staring directly in her eyes. Watching as she thought about there similarities. He turned and went back to changing the tire. As he did so he told her what he was doing in case it ever happens again. She listened intently and asked many questions. When he was all done he asked,_

"_so where were you headed? You really shouldn't drive to long on a donut."_

"_I was heading to a bar out in Allenstown"_

"_What! You can't be more than 16!" Jax exclaimed._

_Tara smiled, " You're right, I am 16, but I'm dropping something off for the bartender so he'll repay me by letting me have a couple beers."_

_Jax looked at her, confusion clear on his face but he didn't know her, she didn't know him, and it wasn't any of his business. He did know that he didn't want to be away from Tara yet._

"_How about you drive your truck back to that gas station up the road, tell them about your flat, tell 'em you'll pick it up in the morning and I'll give you a ride to Allenstown."_

"_No, I couldn't trouble you like that Jax."_

"_It's no trouble darling. And this way I get into a bar and have your arms wrapped around me for a little while." he finished with his slyest grin. _

_Tara blushed to her roots and said, "alright, but I can't guarantee he'll serve you beer. He doesn't know you." Jax just smiled and followed her to the gas station._

_When Tara first got on the back of his bike she hesitantly put her arms around him. As they picked up speed, her grip became a vise around his middle. He didn't mind though. Her closeness felt very comforting. When they got to the bar, Tara hopped off and took the helmet off and set it on the seat and waited for Jax. _

"_What? I thought you wanted to try and get served?"_

"_I do. I just want to make sure you're not delivering something stupid like crank or some shit. That shit is for weak dumb people,"_

"_Jax I can handle myself I barely know you and you already think you can lecture me? And I would never do any hardcore bullshit. I'm a pothead, that's it." she turned and walked into the bar. Jax followed relieved. When they got inside the bar Jax noticed there was only 5 or 6 other people in there. Everyone seemed to know Tara and smiled as she walked by and said hi, or asked how her and her old man were doing. The bartender came over with a Bud Light for Tara and looked Jax up and down. _

"_Don't worry Dan, Jax is cool. He gave me a lift here cause a truck tire blew." Dan nodded and raised an eyebrow to Jax. _

"_Jack and Coke please" Jax said. Dan nodded and walked away only to come back a minute later with his drink. A couple minutes later Tara excused herself and went into a room labeled private. Dan followed her in. After 15 minutes Tara came out completely glossy eyed and stinking like weed. _

"_You know, you could have invited me, I have indulged in the wacky tabacky a few times in my day." _

_Tara laughed, "Next time Teller, hey you have any quarters? I really wanna hear some Nirvana or Sublime, what do you think Jax?"_

"_I think whatever you pick will be great," and he handed her a dollars worth of quarters. _

_Tara made her way over to the jukebox, and Jax watched her the entire time. Some guy came up to her and said something really funny cause she bent over laughing with her hand on his chest. WTF! Jax had to take a couple deep breathes and remind himself he had no claim to her. Hell, he didn't even know if she was available to be claimed. Tara came back and sat by him. The guy from the jukebox followed her to Jax's disappointment. _

"_Jax, this is Matt. Matt, Jax. I work with Matt, and Jax just rescued me from a flat tire."_

_The men shook hands and nodding but didn't say anything. They both knew they had met their _competition_. Just then the bar door opened and everyone turned to see the newest addition. Tara sank back in her seat and Matt let out a low, "Fuck, what's he doing here?" _

_Jax looked at Tara with raised eyebrows asking a silent question. " That's Tom, my ex. We just broke up last week." _

"_Yeah cause he threw you into a fucking wall" Matt added._

"_He did what?" Jax jumped up ready to beat the living shit out of this guy._

"_Jax sit down, Dan won't serve him. He'll be gone in a minute" Sure as shit not even 2 minutes later Tom could be heard throughout the bar, " Are you fucking kidding me Dan! You've never had a problem with me being 19 before tonight. Its because that bitch is here isn't it?"_

_Tara paled at that. Jax was up out of his seat before Tara or Matt could stop him. He grabbed Tom by the collar of his shirt and threw him into the wall. "Don't ever call Tara a bitch again, cause if anyone's a bitch, its you. A bitch that hits a woman, you piece of shit. With that he punched him square in the jaw. Tom swung at Jax but Jax caught it and kicked Toms legs. Tom fell onto his back and Jax went to town. Punching and kicking him uncontrollably until Dan and Matt pulled him off. He looked over at Tara worried she'd be pissed but she looked surprised and maybe a little relieved. That made him smile. _

_Awhile later Tara said she was ready to go home. On the ride Tara whispered directions into Jax's ear. He could of sworn she was purposely blowing hot air in his ear. All the hairs on his neck was standing on end and he knew he wouldn't be able to get off his bike when he dropped her off because of his increasingly hard dick. When he pulled up to her house, she hopped off the bike and handed him the helmet._

"_can I get your number Tara? I would really like to see you again."_

"_No I don't think so, but you can come over in the morning and pick me up and help me get a new tire, then maybe I'll give it to you."_

"_So its not enough I beat someone up for you and put your donut on for you, now I gotta take you to get a new tire!"_

"_Yep"_

"_Alright darling. But you have to give me a hug ."_

_Tara smiled and walked up to Jax and put her arms loosely around his neck. Jax put his arms around her waist and squeezed, enjoying her firmly pushed against him. As she leaned away from him she looked into his eyes. He could see lust in her eyes so he thought fuck it and went in for a kiss expecting her to push him away. The kiss started sweet and innocent but slowly Jax's tongue was running over her bottom lip, pulling it in his mouth gently nibbling on it. His hands were all over her, in her hair, on her ass, down her back. He couldn't get enough of her. She gave a deep throated moans as her own hand went to his back pulling him closer. Then a car honking broke the moment and she pulled away sheepishly. _

"_See you in the morning Jax"_

"_Sleep tight hun"_

Jax came out of his daydream remembering how after that night they were inseparable for the next three years. He looked around the workout area and decided to see what happened between Clay and Rosen.

"What happened Pres?"

"Rosen didn't answer, I left a message, don't worry kid, nothings going to happen to your old lady, no one would be that stupid."

Jax just nodded and walked to his cell. He pulled out a biography about JFK he had been reading. The library had slime pickens and he was always interested in Presidents. He fell asleep remembering the last time he had Tara in bed before all this shit went down.

Tuesday wasn't very eventful. Rosen go a hold of Clay and said he talked to everyone and Gemma and Tara were well taken care of. That made Jax heave a deep breathe of relieve. Opie wouldn't let anything happen to Tara. It was almost eleven o'clock at night when a guard came to Jax's cell. "Teller, you got a phone call."

"What?"

"Teller, lets go!"

As the guard opened the cell and cuffed him up Jax looked at him with a confused look. The guard said, " apparently your brother needs to talk to you immediately, there's a family emergency."

Jax stopped walking for a second. All at once he felt out of breathe and ice cold. Tara? The baby? Abel? What the fuck was going on? It had to be important for a 11 o'clock call. When he got to the phone he was terrified what he was going to hear.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jax didn't even bother with a hello or any formalities.

" Jax, someone followed Tara and Pretty Pete, her bodyguard, into a gas station tonight and…" Ope lost his voice for a moment before he continued, " well the fucker pulled a gun and shot Pete in the chest. It hit his lung but they think he'll make a full recovery, but" and then Opie went silent again.

"Jesus fucking Christ Opie just tell me."

"When Pete got shot he fell over backwards and took Tara down with him. She landed on her shoulder and hit her head hard on the floor. Her shoulder has a hairline fracture which they wrapped up tight and think it should be fine in 4 to 6 weeks. From hitting her head though she was knocked out a got a nasty concussion. She still isn't up yet because the baby went into distress so they kept her out to try to calm the baby down." Opie said all of this as fast as he could without a breathe. If he stopped at all he knew he would loss the emotional battle he was feeling. He failed Jax. He failed Tara. He knew Jax expected him to take care of Tara. Jax told him before he went in that he was comforted with the fact Opie would be out to keep an eye on Tara. When Opie was in lockdown, Jax was always checking in and taking care of Donna. "I'm so sorry Jax."

"It ain't your fault Ope. You got her a bodyguard there wasn't much as you could do, and she's going to be fine, right?"

"The doctors are very optimistic about she'll make a full recovery."

"Thanks for calling tonight, make sure you call me as soon as she wakes up."

"I will brother" even though he kept the rage out of his voice, Opie knew Jax was seeing red. Jax had a hero complex as Opie called it. He always protected what was his.

An hour later Jax was laying on his rock hard cot staring up at the cement ceiling. Instead of having his usual dirty sweaty, steamy, sexy thoughts of Tara right now all he could think about was how to handle her always being made a target. Then he had an epiphany. Kohn hurt her during their 10 year break, Salazar hurt her during his breakup fuck up, and now the Russians were trying to hurt her when he was locked up. Tara only got hurt when he left her. He just could never leave her again. Jax smiled wide as he thought, guess I'll have to marry her. And with images of Tara in a long flowing white dress Jax fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N I don't own anything. Thanks so much for enjoying my story, I'm glad I'm not the only one who does. Sorry for any confusion last chapter, but all your questions will be answered this chapter.

**Chapter 4**

Tara awoke all alone in a hospital bed. She had no idea what the hell happened. Instantly one hand went to her stomach. Is the baby still alive? She brought her other hand up to rub away her pounding headache but instead was met with excruciatingpain. Her left shoulder was wrapped in an ace bandage. Then everything came rushing back to her. She was bent over, hand almost clasping the ice cream pail handle when the shot was fired. Before she could react the door was flying past her head and Pete collapsed on her. If another man dies protecting me I'm going to have to invest in a therapist, Tara thought angrily. Tara started shaking as her right hand kept rubbing her belly. What if she lost the baby? After all the Salazar bullshit and everything with Jax and the letters, this baby and Abel were the only things making her smile. Tara started crying. Loud uncontrollable sobs wrenched through her body. She wrapped her uninjured arm around her knees and rocked back and forth crying. That's how Opie and the nurses found her when they came searching for the crazy noise coming from Tara's room. Reacting first out of the small group, Opie ran to her and encircled her in a strong bear hug.

"shhhh Tara. It's okay, everything is alright sweetheart, shhhhhh."

Ope, is the ba" but then another sob ripped through her. She couldn't say it. If she said it out loud, it would be real.

" Tara, the baby is fine. It went into distress but the doctors were able to calm it down. It will be fine they said."

"What about Pete?" Tara stopped crying, now that she knew the baby was fine and she obviouslywas okay, she had to know if Pete died because of her.

"The bullet went through his lung and tore a lot of shit up, but he should be fine. Lots of recovery time though."

Tara nodded. Opie was sitting next to her in the bed and still had her in his arms loosely. Tara looked over at the uncomfortable nurses by the door. Its not everyday a doctor you work with gets shot at and is comforted by a long haired biker.

"Dr. Knowles we have to check your vitals. And we paged Dr. Nelson she should be here soon."

"Sounds good Sam, Thanks."

During the doctor's visit Tara found out she suffered a concussion and has a hairline fracture in her left shoulder. She will have to keep it wrapped and in a sling for 4 to 6 weeks, which in turn means she'll be on medical leave from work during that time. Dr. Nelson was also going to release her in a couple hours after making sure her head was fine from the concussion. Opie stood up from the chair he was occupying in the corner of the room.

"I'm going to go call Jax, I promised I would as soon as you woke up. I'll be right back Tara."

"Opie, you called him last night?"

"Yeah, he would have found out one way or the other. Might as well do it right away."

Tara nodded and leaned back against the pillows. "Tell him I love him and that we are fine. I don't want him to worry about us at all in there okay?"

Opie nodded his understanding and left the room. After the door closed behind him Tara slowly closed her eyes and thought about what Opie had just said. Jax will find out about the letters sooner or later. She knew she will give them to him but is it better to just do it now or wait till later? If she waited till he got out wouldn't he be irate that she kept a secret for 14 months? She would have broke the total disclosure rule again, but he understood last time she did with Gemma. But that was only cause she couldn't release patient information right? And if she told him now he would flip a lid. He was so up and down about John Teller lately, but he is John's son. Jax would avenge his father's death. Before Tara could dwell any longer on her constant internal battle someone knocked on her door. Sam the nurse popped her head inside,

"Dr. Knowles, a man named Matt Thompson is here to see you. Opie told me not to allow anyone in here without checking with you or him."

"Thanks Sam, you can let him in." Tara had that feeling of importance again. She had people watching her door so no Russians snuck in. Jax really was the fucking Prince of Charming.

Matt walked in with a large bouquet of red wild flowers and it had 3 sunflowers poking out of the top.

"Thanks Matt, they're beautiful, but you didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem Tara. I was really worried about you."

"How did you even find out?"

"I was there in the gas station. I had just walked in and saw you and the biker by the freezer when he was shot. I'm the one who called 911."

"Wow, I haven't seen you in 15 years and now I run into you twice in the same day and you made the call that saved our lives. How weird."

"Must be a sign Tara. I'm here to save you." Matt said while giving Tara an imploring stare like he was trying to will her to his way of thinking. He continued on when Tara didn't respond and had turned her face away from him,

" Tara, where you the one getting shot at or the biker?"

"His name is Pretty Pete," Tara said avoiding the question, she wasn't 100% sure but she thought she was the one getting shot at.

"Where's Jax Tara?"

"What's it to you Matt?" Tara was getting pissed. Yeah her life is fucked up. Yeah she or the baby could have died last night. But as least she was living! When she wasn't with Jax she was only half alive. Nothing was funny. Nothing gave her joy. Nothing gave her hope. Jax was the only thing keeping her from becoming just another surgeon who spent all their free time at the hospital instead of their lonely houses. She'd deal with all the bullshit as long as she had Jax and their kids.

"I care about you Tara. I always have. I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. Being with Jax is probably the stupidest thing you could ever have done! We could have been happy together Tara. The surgeon and the banker living in a big beautiful house with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. No guns, no drama, just vacations in Paris. And you threw it all away to be with a god damn biker who gets you shot at! Not to mention that he probably screws anything he sees!"

Tara's uninjured arm shot up and she punched Matt square in the jaw. He stumbled backwards several steps as Tara yelled,

" Don't you fucking dare come to my hospital bed and spew your hatred and jealousy at me. Matt, I have never felt anything but friendship towards you. I told you that 15 years ago. Get over it! Jax is my soul mate. He is the father of my children. The man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Do you honestly think I didn't know what I was getting myself into? I'd take any risk to be with Jax. Now get the fuck out of my room before I call security. And by security I mean one of the 'god damn' bikers that would do anything, ANYTHING, for their VP's old lady."

Matt was rubbing his jaw with wide eyes mouth gapping open totally unable to comprehend what just happened.

"You are not the same girl I used to know Tara."

"You're right for once. I'm not a naïve little girl anymore. I know how the world works now. Life is short, nothing is guaranteed. Enjoy it while you got it. Any don't let anyone, ANYONE, stand between you and your happiness.. Now you said your peace, I've said mine, if I run into you again don't expect me to say hi. Get out."

"Come on Tara. I want to be at least friends with you."

"You ruined that the minute you started talking shit."

"Tara, is this guy giving you trouble?" Opie walked in eyeing Matt up and down. He noticed his rapidly swelling face immediately and the way he kept rubbing it. Tara must have just hit him, he thought. Who the hell is this guy anyway? He looked oddly familiar.

"No, Matt was just leaving."

"I'm sorry if I upset you, it wasn't my intent. I hope everything works out for you Tara."

Tara didn't respond, she glared at him and when he made a move to grab her hand she pulled her away. Matt looked at her once last time and left the room.

"What was that about? Who was that anyway? Why did you hit him?" Opie rattled off all the questions that have been bugging him for the last minute.

"That was Matt Thompson remember? We partied at his parents house a couple times in high school, before he tried to kiss me when he was all wasted and Jax beat the shit out of him."

"Oh yeah, I remember that. Jax went ape shit on him. Didn't Hale call the cops and you got busted with that bag of weed? Then Jax finally admitted to beating Matt up so you didn't have to spend the night in jail alone."

"Yeah, we were pretty crazy back then." Tara laughed.

"Back then?" Opie joined in her laughter as she swatted at him.

"Anyway I punched him because he was talking shit about Jax and the lifestyle we live in."

"Its hard for people to understand the messed up lives we have. Donna never understood it. I'm glad you do, Jax is lucky to have you. To be able to talk to you and tell you everything with complete trust. That's awesome. You and Jax will make a great leading couple when that time comes."

"Thanks Ope. So was it the Russians that followed us to the gas station?"

"We think so. We're trying to get the surveillance tape from the owner right now."

"Ok, how's Jax doing?"

"He's fine, feels a lot better now that he knows you and the baby are good. He had a great idea actually. Since you won't be working, you'll need a constant body guard. Why not have you and Abel move in with Gemma? That way everyone will be together and strength in numbers it's the safest option, don't you think?"

Tara had stopped listening the moment he said move in with Gemma. She could never be around her that much. The thought of it took her breath out of her lungs and terrified her. Gemma would know something's up and would dig and pry until Tara told her.

"Opie, I cannot live with Gemma. I refuse."

" Come on Tara. I know she can be a lot to handle but it'll be fine. It would make taking care of Abel easier and you'll need help while your arm is in a sling."

"I know Opie. It makes sense but I can't live with Gemma ok? We'll just have to figure something else out. Why can't I just stay at home?"

"The Russians know where you live. Its an easy target. At Gemma's we could have two guys there at once instead of only one at each house. Makes more sense, Doc."

"Please don't make me Ope. There has to be an alternative." Tara was debating on whether to tell Opie the truth. He was Jax's closest brother and he was trustworthy but Tara couldn't put him in the middle of them and ask him to keep a secret from Jax.

"Tara come on. What could Gemma do that's so awful?"

"You don't want to know," Tara answered seriously.

Opie gave her a searching stare and was about to question her seriousness when someone knocked on the door. Opie got up and cracked open the door.

"What's up?" he asked the prospect in the hallway.

"Gemma sent me with this." he handed Opie a card and a big gift bag. Opie took them and sent the prospect away. He walked over to Tara and handed her the card with a smirk on his face.

"This doesn't change anything Ope." She ripped open the card and read out loud, "Tara, I'm so sorry what happened to you. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. But stop by on your way home, Abel misses you. Hope the gifts are helpful. Gemma."

In the bag was a half gallon of Gemma's pea soup, a chicken casserole, and a pan of chocolate cupcakes.

"See Tara? Gemma isn't so bad, and she's a great cook."

"No Opie."

"Just tell me what's up. I could help more if I knew why you are so freaked about living with her."

"I can't tell you and you can't help. Please don't say anything to Jax about this. It's something I have to talk to him about when he gets out. Ok Opie? I don't want anything worrying him when he's in there."

"I won't say anything about your hesitation but since you won't tell me whats going on, I'm going to have to force you to move in with Gemma. It's the safest option Tara, I'm sorry."

"Opie I'm not moving in with Gemma!"

"Where else can you be kept safe then?"

Tara sat silently thinking for a few minutes. Then all of sudden a light bulb came on above her head.

"The clubhouse Opie! Like when we all went on lock down during the Zobelle drama. I can stay in Jax's room."

"You want to be surrounded by croweaters and nasty sweaty mechanics?"

"Do I want to? No. But it sounds easier than being around Gemma 24/7. And plus Chucky isn't doing to good in the garage office with only two fingers right?"

"Yeah," Opie replied hesitantly, he didn't know how Jax would take this turn of events.

"Well, I can take over TM while I'm off work." Tara smiled in satisfaction. This was the perfect solution, "Plus, when you crazy bikers fight or blow up meth labs I'll be right there to bandage you up."

"I really don't think Jax will like this Tara."

"Well Jax did a lot of stupid things trying to protect me, so I'm allowed to do something you guys think is stupid to protect him."

"Protect him? From Gemma?"

"No, not from Gemma, from himself."

Several hours later, Tara and Lyla were packing up Tara's bedroom. After being released from the hospital Opie and Tara went to Gemma's and picked up Abel. Gemma asked why the plans changed and all Tara said was that she wanted to help out at the garage so it made more sense for her to stay at the clubhouse. Then they met Lyla and Neeta at her and Jax's house. Neeta watched the kids as Opie, Lyla, and Tara packed up her and Abel's possessions for the move to the clubhouse.

"I can't believe your moving into the clubhouse, Tara." Lyla said as she was packing Tara's pajamas.

"Yeah, its going to be weird. But the alternative is living with Gemma. I love her, don't get me wrong, but I couldn't handle her 24/7."

"Yeah I get that."

"So, have you found a cake lady yet?" Tara wasn't a Lyla fan when she first started hanging around, but she has grown on Tara. It was nice having another girl around the club other than Gemma.

"No, haven't found anyone within our price range yet. You know I could save you all our vendors numbers and such for your big day." Lyla said with a big smile on her face.

"Thanks, but I don't know if Jax and I will ever get married. We never really talked about it."

"You two will get married. Opie told me about your guys history, how you begged your dad to let you transfer to Charming High after you met so you could spend all your time together. And he told me how you left Charming for tens years and Jax was just an empty shell of a man until you returned. I know you two are gonna end up together forever."

"Lyla can I ask you a personal question?" Tara had to change the topic. Truth is she wanted nothing more than to become Mrs. Jackson Teller, just didn't think he would ever want to remarry after his first failed marriage.

"Of course Tara."

"Well, how are you able to hid your abortion from Opie?" Tara asked in a whisper. "I'm hiding something from Jax and I don't know how to not make it obvious when I see him this weekend."

"I made the right choice when I had that abortion. Neither of us could handle another kid right now, it would destroy my career and Opie is needed for the club right now. I just keep remembering that. What your hiding from Jax, is it the right decision?"

"Yeah, for the time being it is."

"Then just remember that when you see him." Lyla wanted desperately to know what she was hiding but knew better than to ask. Tara was the VP's old lady. She was second on the old lady totem pole, so Lyla wasn't in the position to be nosy.

"Thanks so much Lyla, I appreciate it."

"Its no problem Tara. Come on lets get the rest of this stuff in the car and then drive you guys to your new home."

When they arrived at the clubhouse Opie ordered the prospects to take all of Tara's bags up to Jax's room. Tara made her way into the kitchen for some hot tea. Her shoulder was really painful but she refused any pain pills. She didn't want to do anymore harm to her baby. Piney was in the kitchen getting something out of the cupboard.

"Hey sweetheart, its going to be nice having you and Abel around."

"Thanks Piney, you should we aren't going to crimp anyone's style?"

"There isn't anyone around to crimp their styles dear."

"I guess that's true. This is the quietest I've ever heard this place."

"Yeah, but soon we'll have Abel running around destroying everything to liven the place up."

"Yeah, he'll be walking soon enough, well I'm heading upstairs. Got to fed the growing boy and then I'm going to bed. I'm wiped."

"Alright, and Tara? I'm glad you came back. Jax needs you, your good for him. You are just the woman to have by his side to turn this club back into John's vision. John would have loved you." Piney smiled and walked up to her and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Piney."

"Goodnight dear"

Tara walked out into the main area with her tea and a bottle and asked Chibs who was holding a hungry Abel, " Chibs, could you carry Abel upstairs for me? He's hungry and we're both ready for bed."

"Of course lovely."

After Chibs helped her get Abel's portable crib set up, and after he fed him, cause it was just easier that way, Chibs left the room. Tara laid Abel in his crib and he was immediately out. She then went to the bed and ripped the sheets off of it and one handily put on fresh ones. She couldn't sleep on sheets that the porn slut slept on. She pulled one of Jax's t-shirts out of the dirty laundry basket on the floor. It was his white one with SON on it. She stripped down to just her panties and threw it on over her head. It wasn't normal for her to wear his dirty laundry and it was kinda icky but she wanted to breathe him in. She laid back on the bed and pulled the shirt up to her nose, and just breathed in the smell of motor oil, cigarettes, and just a hint of the after shave he wore. She looked over at the crib in the corner and smiled, no matter what this is where she belongs.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N I still don't own anything.

A/N 2, sorry it took so long to update, I've rewritten the reunion like 5 times trying to make it perfect and realistic.

A/N 3, don't forget I love feedback, makes my day when I get a review alert, so leave me a review and let me know what you love and hate. Thanks for reading.

**Chapter 5**

On Tuesday morning Tara awoke in her and Jax's bed. On Wednesday it was a hospital bed. And today Thursday, it was Jax's bed in the clubhouse. How much life can change in a short amount of time, Tara mused to herself. Before she could continue her bed hopping thoughts Abel made his presences known with a loud hungry scream. Quickly Tara jumped up and picked him up out of his portable crib.

"Good morning little man, you hungry?" Abel smiled up at her as if to say, yep mommy I am. Tara laughed and changed his diaper and his pjs. Then she went to the counter to make him a bottle. She settled back in the bed and fed Abel his bottle. It always amazed her how much of Jax she saw in Abel. They had the same eyes, nose, and the same blond hair. Tara was really hoping the baby she was carrying was a little girl that looked just like Jax and Abel. Little blond pigtails with a smile that could melt your heart. Abel finished his bottle so Tara burped him then got them dressed and headed downstairs carrying the baby. Before she walked into the bar, she took a deep breathe preparing herself for the half naked croweaters she was going to see in the common room. Surprisingly the only person there was Piney. He was reading a newspaper with the morning news on in the background drinking a big mug of coffee. Piney looked up when he heard her and Abel walk in.

"Morning sweetheart. You two sleep ok?"

"Oh yeah, I slept better last night then I have in months."

"That's good darling. I hope you know that you are always safe here. We would never let anything happen to you or Abel again."

"Thanks Piney. Where is everyone?"

"I told you last night doll, everyone's gone. And with you and Abel here Opie, Chibs, and I decided no parties or croweaters around. You don't need to be around that shit."

"Honestly Piney, I don't want you going to all this trouble for us."

"It's no trouble darling. Plus it's nice having some peace and quiet for a while."

"Alright, but if you guys ever wait a night to yourselves let me know. Hey could you watch Abel for me while I jump in the shower?"

"Of course. I'm here to help. Do I need to fed him?"

"No, I fed him already, thanks Piney."

In the shower Tara realized Jax had an identical set of shower supplies here at the clubhouse just like his at home. Tara laughed at the shampoo he uses, he's the only man she knows who actually pays more than $5 for a bottle and uses split end treatment. For being a big bad biker Jax could be a real narcissist with his hair, it was his pride and joy, besides Abel that is. In high school Jax went through this weird gel stage, then he tried tying it back, and finally settled on letting it just flow. She loved his long hair, it was so hot to pull his hair and yank him into her when they were fooling around.

Getting back down into the clubhouse Tara found Lyla playing with Abel at the bar with Piney.

"Hey Tara. I thought I'd come and help watch Abel. Its my day off and all our kids are at school."

"Thanks so much Lyla. I'm sure it will make my first day on the new job a lot easier not having to carry him around."

"What? Piney wouldn't watch him for you?" She gave Piney a shocked look and lightly elbowed his arm.

"She never asked!" Piney exclaimed.

"I don't want to be a burden, and I have one of those things where you strap the baby over your back or chest, so I can carry him around while I work. Its no big deal."

"Tara, listen to me, you are NOT a burden. We are here to help you. We are family. It's what family does ok?" Tara nodded so Piney finished, "Now get to work, chop chop."

Tara laughed the whole way across the lot to TM. She met Chucky in the office and he ran down the details of the job and her responsibilities. Tara will mostly be seeing customers when they pull in and directing them to the best garage stall. She'd also be handling insurance claims and inventory. Chucky will take phone calls, make appointments, and do the accounting. Both were satisfied with their roles. At around 1 o'clock Tara's shoulder started throbbing so she decided to take her lunch hour and put a heating pad on it. When she got into the clubhouse Lyla told her she ordered a meat lovers pizza and garlic bread and it should be here any moment. Tara was grateful and told Lyla her shoulder was sore and went upstairs to get her heating pad. When she returned the pizza was there so she joined Lyla at the bar and the girls sat and ate and talked.

"Tara, I've been wondering, whatever happened to Abel's mother? I mean why doesn't she have him while Jax's locked up?"

"Last time we saw Wendy was when Abel was 3 months old. She was living in a half way house in Lincoln Square. When he went missing Jax called there and they told him she was long gone. She didn't leave any phone number or anything. So the day after the guys all went in, Rosen showed up at the house with a bunch of legal documents. Jax decided to grant me temporary sole custody of Abel. I also got added to his house deed and have access to all his bank accounts. So I doubt he thinks Wendy will be back."

"Wow, I'm surprised he gave you access to his bank accounts after what he did to you. I would spend all of it on shoes." Lyla laughed at her own joke and Tara was taking a bite of garlic bread and almost choked from laughing.

"That would serve him right, but in the end it would only hurt me cause I'd be the one having to pay the mortgage and bills plus the diapers and formula." The laughter and happiness left her voice as she continued, " honestly what Jax said and did to me was the most horrible experience of my life, even worst than being held hostage. But I love Jax so completely and for so long, that logically I knew he only did what he thought was best for me, to make me hate him by doing the one thing I couldn't forgive, cheating. It worked too, I hated him. Until he came in to Hale's office and I saw the love and worry he felt in his eyes and I knew, I just knew Ima didn't mean anything, he loves me, only me, and he finally realized the only way to keep me safe is to keep me with him and under SAMCRO's protection."

"Well, I'm glad he smarted up and you guys made it back together. I was really hoping you two would because it'd be so cool to have our families hang out, ya know? Like couple friends. Which brings me to a question I have for you. Will you be my maid of honor? Its gonna be a SAMCRO wedding and you understand the rules and customs and what needs to be done. Jax is the best man so I thought it'd be cute it you too stood together, but if you feel weird don't feel obligated. I don't want you to feel pressured," Tara was sure Lyla would have kept jabbering but she cut her off,

"Lyla, I would be honored to be the maid of honor at your wedding. But I've never been to a SAMCRO wedding, so I don't think I'll be much help."

"Thank you so much Tara, you have no idea how much this means to me. And don't worry about not knowing, I'm sure Gemma will have plenty of advice."

After they finished eating and talking about bridesmaid dresses, Tara went back to work. Running a garage was a lot less stressful than operating on babies that's for sure. But far less exciting.

"All right Chucky, everything seems in order and all the guys left, I'm going to go."

"I accept that."

Tara went to the kitchen right away, she needed a snack. While Abel was being watched by Kozik in the common room, Tara did inventory of all the food in the cupboards. The only things the boys had in there was coffee, beef jerky, instant mashed potatoes, beef stew in a can, and baked beans. She wrote out a quick list of what was needed and went out by Kozik.

"I need to go grocery shopping. Will you be my escort?"

"Yep, I'm on doctor detail tonight."

"Lucky you."

Tara drove them in the Cutlass to the grocery store. She was very anxious and nervous walking around the store. Every time someone dropped something or a cooler door shut, Tara would jump and grab Abel out of the cart.

"Tara darling, we can go back to the clubhouse and sent the prospect to get the groceries."

"No, I have to do this. The Russians forced me from my home but I will not disrupt my life anymore because of them. I will not allow them to scare me into hiding."

"You got balls Doc." Kozik said impressed.

That night, Tara whipped up tacos, Mexican rice, and margiratias (virgins for her and the kids) for Piney, Opie, Lyla, the kids, Kozik, and the prospects. She said it was her way of showing them some love for all there support.

Friday felt like the longest day of Tara's life. All she could think about was how in less that 24 hours she would be seeing Jax! She still didn't know how she would keep the letters from bubbling out of her mouth but she'd figure it out. She knew he was probably really worried and needed to see her with his own eyes to make sure they were really ok, and she needed to make sure he was good too. SAMCRO had a lot of enemies. But Friday dragged by, every customer was a complainer and had something to bitch about. Finally it was Saturday morning! Tara woke up at 5AM and didn't even try to fall back asleep she was wide awake, anxious to see her Jax in a few hours. She took a long shower, took her time choosing an outfit, and applied just enough makeup to bring out her eyes the way Jax likes it.

After droppinng Abel off at Gemma's Tara and Opie were on the 45 minute drive to Stockton Correctioal Facility. She had never been more anxious to go into a prison before. After going through the metal decector and having her purse searched she was on her way to the visiting room. Opie went in first and told her to wait in the hall, SAMCRO had a few business things to discuss before she could go in. So she paced back and forth waiting impatcianly until Opie stuck his head out after 10 minutes and told her to come in. Tara walked into the doorframe of the room and immedenlty her eyes found Jax's. His face lit up into the largest grin Tara had seen in years. As she started walking toward him, her hand went to her mouth to cover her laughing slash crying stint she had going on. His beautiful hair was all gone! What the fuck? Tara thought, I loved that hair. As she got to his table he stood and had his hands immedelly on her face brushing the tears away. While hers found their way into Jax's newly short hair.

"Does it look that bad babe? It made my old lady cry?"

"No, seeing you plus all these crazy hormones makes me an emotional rollercoaster." One of Jax's hands went to her hair and the other to her growing baby bump. He pulled her close and whispered into her ear, " I've missed you so much babe. I love you." Then he pulled back and gave her a heart stopping kiss that made her weak in the knees. As his tongue was breaking through the barrier of her lips, Tara slid one hand from his hip, over his stomach and grazed over his chest when Jax let out a low growl of pain but tried to cover it up by keeping Tara pressed close against him as she tried to pull away. "In a minute babe," he whispered into the side of her face, "Let me enjoy you Tara." She didn't pull back again. She let Jax have his way with her mouth and he ran his hands down her back, cupped her ass, rubbed her cheeks, rubbed her baby bump, tangle his fingers in her hair, until one of the guards yelled out, "All right Teller, that's enough." Jax shot him an annoyed look but sat down. Tara sat across from him. She leaned as far over the table as she could, giving Jax a great view of her pregnecy cleavage, and she pulled Jax's blaze orange shirt forward peeking in at the bangage on his chest.

"Who did you piss off?"

"Apperently you weren't the only one the Russians went after this week babe."

"Jesus Christ Jax!"

"Yeah I know babe."

"What happened?"

"On Wednesday I was in the laundry room when I got grabbed by my hair and throw into a wall. They shanked me about the heart, missed all my organs, I'm fine babe, but your going to have to get use to the short hair, I'm stuck with it till I get out."

"Why wasn't I called? Don't they have to inform family! I would have come down here if I had known!"

"I didn't want you to know babe. You have enough to worry about and I am fine. I promise. Don't worry about me, we are working on something with the Russians on the inside so we don't have to worry about getting shanked anymore."

"Damn it Jax! You better stay on good behaivor, I need you to get home already."

"Tara, nothing is going to stop me from getting home to you as soon as I can."

"Ok" Tara said with a small smile, she was still going to worry about him but didn't want to waste her time with him talking about the Russians anymore.

"I like your hair by the way, very sexy." Tara gave him her most seductive smile.

"You think so? I thought you liked something to grab on to." Jax gave her a sexy grin as well.

"I guess your back will have to do Teller." Jax smiled and kissed both her hands before he said,

"Babe, I miss you so much. Being away from you is killing me. Tell me everything about whats been going on. Hows the shoulder? The baby's still ok right? Hows Abel?"

"Well, heres the pitcure of me and Abel you asked for," she slid over a picture of her and Abel from Kenny's party last week. Abel was laying over her torso fast asleep. "He has two bottom teeth right now but I think the top two are going to be in any day now. Hes doing really good at crawling and is almost able to pull himself up onto his feet with the cooffee table. Hes also been started to babble. He can say babba and kinda hold it himself"

"Wow, hes changing so much already, God I can't believe I'm missing his whole infancy!" Jax realsed Tara's hands and slammed his fist into the table. He was so angry hes missing all of Abel's moments because Clay wouldn't listen to reason and charged into a church with guns blazing after Jax told him it was a bad idea. Why should he have to suffer because his President is a dumb, ignorant, stubborn ass?

"Jax, I'm recording everything. It will almost be like your there."

"It won't be the same Tara."

"I know babe."

"Hows my other boy doing?"

"I can not wait to find out we're having a girl just to laugh at you for being so wrong."

"I'm not gonna be wtong babe."

"Whatever, the baby is good. It went into distress after I was knocked out, but it calmed down. Dr. Nelson said everything appears healthy. And my shoulder throbs once in a while but its fine."

"That's great babe."

"Yeah, do you wanna know the baby's due date?" Tara smiled at him with a raised eyebrow

"Fuck yeah."

"She's due on October 1st, which makes me think she was concived on your birthday."

Jax and Tara both smiled and shared a look while remembering that awesome night. His birthday was a few weeks before Abel had been taken. Jax and Clay were getting on each others nerves daily so Tara wasn't surprised at how easy it was to convince Jax to spend the day with her and Abel. They went to the zoo during the day and at night, dropped Abel off with Gemma and went out to the local steakhouse. After dinner they headed home where Tara gave him his birthday present. A black lace teddy with thigh high fishnet stockings gartered to her panties and completeted with knee high boots. Jax had her out of everything but the boots and stockings in ten seconds flat. They spent the remainder of his birthday wrapped around each other ravishing the others body with everything they had to give.

"Well then, ifs that when the little guy was made, then he's the best present you have ever given me, even better that those boot marks on my ass that night," Jax said with a satisfied smirk. "So hows living with ma going Tara ?"

"Ahhh" Damn! Tara thought, I was really hoping we wouldn't have to bring Gemma up at all. "Well, I actually decided to move into the clubhouse babe."

"What? Why?" Jax let go of her hands and leaned back crossing his arms over his chest and giving her a pointed stare.

"I figured with being unable to work at the hospital I could help out at TM. You know its hard for Chucky to run everything with only two fingers." Tara kept her voice even and looked him right in the eye. She wasn't really lying, but she felt like she was. Hopefully he thinks it makes sense and doesn't push her to go to Gemma's .

"It makes sense, the guys are always around. That makes me feel better babe. Good idea." Jax smiled and leaned forward taking her hands in his again kissing her knuckles. "I'm surprised you want to stay there though. You didn't like the idea last time we stayed there during the Zoebelle shit."

"Yeah, but that was before Abel and I were kidnapped and before I was shot at. Plus, I know how you worry so I thought this would ease some of your fears baby."

"It does babe."

The guard let everyone know visiting time was over. Jax and Tara both stood up and Jax pulled her into a strong embrace, "I love you so much Tara, I'm so proud of how strong you are being throughtout all of this. Opies going to be dropping cash off to you every week. Its my share of our Irish deal. Please put it in our safe, and spend some of it on yourself." Jax pulled away from her ear and looked her in the eyes, "You deserve some perks for being stuck with me."

"I love you Jackson Teller." Tara put her right hand against Jax's cheek, "There's no other man I'd rather be stuck with than you."

Jax chuckled and pulled her in for one more kiss before she had to leave. As they pulled apart, they put their foreheads together and started into the others eyes, tears glistening in each set, willing time to jump ahead 13 months already.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N1 A special thanks to Northwoman for being by beta! We should all be very jealous of her, she got to meet Jax last weekend! Oh and if you guys haven't seen any spoilers or previews for the new season, you should get on that. It looks like it's going to be an epic season!

A/N2 I don't own anything, enjoy

Chapter 6

Opie and Tara walked out of the prison in silence. Nearing the car, Tara held her keys to the Cutlass out to Opie. He took them without speaking, understanding that Tara didn't need distractions while she processed everything happening. After securing her seatbelt in the passenger seat, Tara placed her chin in her palm and stared out the window. Opie started the car, and after giving Tara a worried glance, pulled out of the parking lot. While the ride to the prison had been filled with nervousness, smiles, and excitement, the trip home was the complete opposite. Now all Tara felt was worry, anger, fear, sadness, and fore longing. Before she saw him, she could convince herself Jax had his brothers watching over him and the other club alliances would watch his back. Now she knew the truth, Jax was a target and the letters were the least of their problems.

"God, I could use a cigarette." Tara said twenty minutes before home, breaking the silence that had filled the car.

Opie looked over at Tara with a small smile and patted her knee. He knew she wasn't serious. She had never been a cigarette smoker. She used to give him and Jax long winded speeches about how bad smoking was until she realized it was a lost cause and gave up her nagging. Plus he knew she would never do anything to harm her baby.

"No, you don't, doll."

"I need something, Opie! What the fuck am I going to do? Jax could get killed. How am I going to handle two kids by myself? I can barely handle Abel alone with my schedule. If it wasn't for Gemma and Neeta, I couldn't." Her eyes were glistening as she continued with the unshed tears straining her voice. "And Jax and I just got back together. It's not fair he could get ripped away from me before we even have a chance to make a life together for us and our kids."

"Sweetheart, life isn't fair; it's what you make of it. Jax's going to be fine. The guys are on high alert. No one goes anywhere alone anymore. And like Jax said, the guys are working on a deal with the Russians inside to fix the situation. I'm actually going to be setting up a meeting with Putlova when we get back. Jax told me I had to blow 'that fuck head Russian' if that's what it took to ensure you, Gemma, and the kids are safe."

Tara chuckled; Jax had a way with words, that's for sure. "Everything will work out Tara. I will do anything Putlova wants to protect Jax and get him home to you and the kids in one piece."

"Thanks, Opie." She felt a smidge better after everything Opie said. She had to trust SAMCRO to take care of Jax. Turning back to looking out the window, Tara noticed they were already on Gemma's road. Gemma. She was the closest thing to a parent Tara had. She'd need her more than ever after this baby was born. Nobody needed to know about the letters. They were just a depressed paranoid man's love letters to his mistress. When she got back to her and Jax's house, she'd put them in the safe and not think about them again until Jax came home. They all had enough to worry about without adding to the shit pile.

Walking into the Morrow kitchen, Tara's senses were bombarded with the delicious smell of baked chicken. Her stomach immediately started growling. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until now.

"Hey baby. Have a seat; I'll make you a plate. How's Jax?" Gemma said over her shoulder while stirring what looked like mashed potatoes on the stove. Tara walked over to Abel and picked him up out of his bouncer before sitting at the snack bar.

"Well, he got shanked this week. He's fine though, don't worry."

"God damn Russians!" Gemma yelled as she hurled the spoon she was using for the potatoes against the kitchen door. It splinted into several small pieces.

"Yep. But Jax said they're working out a deal and I'm not supposed to worry. Like that's possible." She looked down at Abel and made silly faces at him until he erupted into fits of giggles. Hearing him laugh was just what she needed to help her calm down.

"I'm sure everything will be fine, dear. Jax won't do anything stupid; he's a smart guy, baby. He'll figure it out. Where's Op?"

"Outside, making a phone call."

"My lawyer told me if I don't try to get out of the house or do anything stupid, I could get off house arrest after 3 months."

"That's awesome. Think you can behave another 2 months?"

"If it gets me out of here, I will. I need to be with you when you deliver this little guy," Gemma was now next to Tara with both of her hands rubbing Tara's belly. "Child birth is hard and you need someone to feed you ice chips and lie to you and let you yell at them."

"Lie to me?"

"Yeah, to say stuff like, 'you're almost done', 'you're doing great', and 'no, you're not sweating like a whore in church.'"

"Great, thanks for that ."

"You'll do great; I'm sure. I know for a fact that when Tara Knowles is determined about something, she makes it happen."

"Thanks, Gemma." Gemma leaned forward and kissed Tara's head and then Abel's.

"I love you, Tara. I'm so glad you came back to us. My boys need you, all my boys."

Tara smiled at her. Gemma had finally realized how important Tara was to her and to the club. Not to mention how Jax and Abel's worlds revolved around her. "I love you too, Gemma. And I'm so glad I came back, too. This is where I belong."

Ten minutes later, Tara and Gemma were eating and talking baby names between bites at the snack bar when Opie walked in. Immediately he noticed the spoon on the floor. Picking up the pieces, he gave the girls a questioning look before smiling. "Told her about Jax huh?"

"She took it better than I thought she would." Tara smiled at the mother lioness next to her.

"Hahaha, Opie dear, I left a plate for you in the microwave. Eat up."

"Thanks Gem." He grabbed his plate and took a seat across from Tara. "Tara, I need to ask you a favor."

"What's up, Opie?"

"Tomorrow afternoon is the only time Rick has available to do Lyla's crow before he goes to San Francisco to see his family for six months. And that is exactly the same time Putlova wants to meet. So my favor is can you go with Lyla? Rick knows you and will crow her if the V.P.'s old lady is there to give the ok."

"I would love to Op." Tara said. She could use a little excursion out in the real world for a while.

"Why can't she wait to get it done? I don't want Tara taking any unnecessary risks. She's carrying my grandson you know."

"I know, Gemma. But I'll send both prospects with them and I'm pretty sure all of Putlova's crew will be with him."

"She can wait six months, Op." Gemma replied simply.

"Gemma, I'll be fine. And I'm sure Opie doesn't want to wait any longer to brand her. It's a testosterone thing; I'm pretty sure." Tara said with a slight laugh. Opie gave her a bashful smile which made her full out laugh.

"If you want to go, I won't stop you. You're old enough to make your own decisions. You and Abel should spend the night tonight though. We can have a girl's night and watch movies. I need some company!" Gemma said, pretty much begging her.

Tara agreed. She could use the distraction that was Gemma. The two of them had a great night together. They watched old home movies and looked through photo albums of Jax and Thomas as babies. Tara was enjoying herself immensely. It felt nice being able to act normal like everything was ok for a little while. She knew she had made the right choice by setting aside the letters. She needed Gemma and Gemma needed her. To make it through the next 13 months, they had to stick together.

Around 11 o'clock, they decided to head to bed. Gemma told Tara to take Jax's old room. Abel would stay with Gemma in her room so Tara could sleep late in the morning. Upon entering the room, Tara was reminded of the last time she had been in here. It had been the night before she left Charming for San Diego. They both knew it was something she had to do, even though it would crush both of their hearts. They spent the night ravishing the other's body for what they believed to be the last time ever.

Tara walked around the room dragging her fingers over the cherry oak dresser. She smiled when she remembered the day when Jax met her at the front door, grabbed her hand and dragged her to his room. She was surprised when he led her to the dresser not the bed. He proudly told her he cleaned out a whole drawer for her things. He was so excited he had already got her some pjs, the deodorant he knew she used, and a new toothbrush. She smiled at the memory and opened 'her' drawer. She was surprised to see it was filled to the top with things from their past. There were pictures of the two of them at prom, on the back of his bike, from graduation, and even a photo strip of them kissing from Funtown. Digging deeper, she found a pair of her old pajamas and a stack of notes she wrote him in school. She picked up the stack of notes in wonder. She couldn't believe he had kept all this stuff. She had stupidly believed he hated her after she left and would destroy anything of hers. Opening the top note she noticed it had been crumbled up and smoothed back out, clearly Jax had wanted to destroy this one but had changed his mind, which only pushed Tara harder to read it.

Hey baby, I can't concentrate on anything Mrs. Wilder is saying. All I keep thinking about is the awful things my dad said to you this weekend. He had no right to do that. He's just a drunk low life who thinks that because he is biologically my father he can act like he cares whenever he wants to. You are NOT a bad person. You could NEVER hurt me. You're the only person in this whole world that makes me feel safe and loved. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I thank God every day for giving me a flat tire so I could be rescued by you. I can't imagine a life without you in it. If I could, I would sew our bodies together so we'd never be separated.

I'm proud of our relationship and I'm not going to hide it from my dumbass father. He can get onboard or you can beat his ass in, either way works for me. Just know baby I've never been surer about anything in my entire life than the fact that one day I want to marry you and have a house full of your babies. Because, whether Gemma, or my dad, like it or not, we are meant to be. You are my soul mate and I love you. Xoxo Tara xoxo

Tara smiled as she finished the note. Even at 17, she knew. She only wished her drunken daddy being an ass to Jax was their biggest problem still. But no, Jax is getting shanked and she was getting shot at. Tara stripped down to just a t-shirt and climbed into bed. She fell asleep staring at the photo strip she had set against the alarm clock of the young, blissfully in love, couple making out without a care in the world.

The next afternoon was a flurry of activity. Piney, Neeta, Kenny, Ellie, Piper, Lyla, and Abel were all around the house, talking to Tara any chance they got. She was playing tag with the kids, talking to Piney about not smoking ever, trying to explain to Neeta Abel' s new obsession with hair pulling, giving suggestions to Lyla on where her crow should go, and convincing Gemma the two prospects were enough to watch her and Lyla when they were downtown and that Piney should stay with her. The two prospects showed up at the same time Opie, Chibbs, and Kozik did. Half the guys were gonna lead the way to the parlor and the other half would follow the cutlass but only the prospects would stay, the rest of the men were going to the meeting. Looking around the kitchen where everyone was chit chatting

Tara's eyes found Gemma's and the women smiled at each other. Anyone could tell Gemma was clearly enjoying her house full. While the children ran around playing tag, Abel followed behind crawling, laughing his head off. The men were telling stupid jokes, drinking coffee. It was a nice feeling seeing the remaining members still staying strong together, it felt like the final breakfast before all the guys got hauled away. Those were the moments when Tara saw all the positives of being the old lady of a VP to a motorcycle club. She had an incredible family and would do anything for anyone of them.

Arriving at Rick's tattoo shop, Tara couldn't help the smile that had crept up her face. Lyla noticed and questioned her about it. "What's up Tara? You look like your face is going to split in half."

"Nothing, I was just remembering the last time I was here."

"When you got your crow?"

"Yep."

"Tell me about it."

"I'll tell you when you're getting yours done. It'll probably take a while and distractions are good."

Once inside, Tara took the lead. "Hey, Rick. I hope you remember me. I'm"

"Jax's old lady."

"Yeah, Tara Knowles. This is Lyla. She's engaged to Opie Winston."

"Yeah, Opie told me you two would be stopping by. I'm almost finished with (points his thumb over his shoulder) that guy. Then I'll come get you."

"Thanks, Rick."

The girls got settled on the chairs in the front window. One of the prospects was smoking by the front door and she guessed the other one was guarding the back door.

"So tell me about it." Lyla said. She was so intrigued by the biker and the doctor love story.

"All right, well it was the summer before our senior year. We were both 17 but Jax was determined to get a tattoo in memory of his dad. So he got Gemma to come with us and give permission. So the three of us get down here and as Rick is finishing up his tat, Jax looks at me and says, 'your turn'" Tara stopped and let out a loud laugh, causing some people in the shop to look over at them. "Oh, you should have seen Gemma's face. She was not happy; furious would be a good word for it. Anyway, I told Jax he was crazy. There was no way I was getting a tattoo. He took my hand and led me outside and told me he loved me and will only ever love me. He wanted me to be his old lady forever. And for as long as I had a crow on my skin, he would be there to protect me and take care of me and love me. How could I say no to that?"

Just then Rick came over to the girls and led them into the back where Lyla took a seat on the parlor chair. She had settled on getting the crow on her left shoulder blade. After she was all situated, Tara continued her story. "So after some convincing to get Gemma to convince Rick to do it, I became the youngest women to ever get the crow."

"I thought Gemma hated you back then."

"She did. But I think it was only because she saw me as a threat as the lead woman in Jax's life. He was kind of a mamma's boy back then."

"Oh, I bet. I'd be surprised if she even let him out of her sight."

"Oh, believe me; we had plenty of private moments. Like that day even." Rick looked at her with a raised eyebrow assuming the worst.

"No Rick, we didn't have any of those 'private moments' here. I'm talking about after Gemma left during my tattoo." Rick smiled and went back to work on Lyla's crow. Tara smiled too and had a faraway look in her eyes remembering the next part.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense…"

"What? Oh right, well after Gemma left Jax decided to add a little something to his dad's tattoo. Since I had been branded with Jax's mark, it was only fair he be branded with mine. So if you look in the veins of the tree on his forearm, you can see Tara Elizabeth Knowles 6-24-1997 – death. Meaning he loved me from the day he met me, June 24th '97, and he would until the day he died."

"Oh, that's so sweet, Opie never told me about that."

"Well, I don't think Jax told many people about it. He didn't want Gemma to find out. She would have killed Rick."

"I ain't scared of any woman, but Gemma Teller, whew I'd like to stay on her good side." Rick said.

"I think everyone in town shares that feeling."

"Try dating her son and talk to me."

The three of them shared a good laugh. A half hour later, the girls were driving to the diner for a late lunch. Sitting at the red light down the road from the diner they saw a motorcycle coming, as the light turned yellow the bike floored it trying to make it through the intersection. But a van made a right turn in front of it and the bike couldn't stop. The driver drove right into the side of the van at full speed.

Turning the engine off, Tara was up out of her car before anyone could stop her. She raced over to the man lying in a very unnatural position on the ground. She could tell right away he had at least one broken leg and probably a concussion he also had a lot of blood gushing out of his arm from a nasty gash. He was also unconscious and unmoving.

"Lyla, grab my bag out of the trunk quickly please." Tara yelled over her shoulder as she ripped her sling off and searched for a pulse on the man on the ground. Lyla ran as fast as she could to the Cutlass.

"Hey lady, should I call 911?" The driver of the van the man hit asked Tara.

"Yeah, tell them he lost a lot blood and will probably need a transfusion, but he does have a strong pulse."

Lyla returned with her bag. Tara grabbed out her little flashlight thing and opened the man's eyes to check for a concussion. When she pulled back the first eyelid she saw a piercing blue eye. She had a creepy feeling, like she had seen this eye before. Tara couldn't do much until the paramedics arrived. When the man was loaded into the back of the ambulance, Tara rattled off his stats and decided to ride along. She told Lyla to follow her to the hospital and call Gemma and let her know what happened.

In the back of the ambulance, one of the paramedics asked if she had checked his wallet for an ID. Tara reached into the man's back pocket and pulled out his wallet. His license was from New Mexico and his name was Anthony Gonzales. She had no idea who this guy was but he felt familiar, the hair, the eyes she had seen them somewhere else. As she fiddled around looking for any emergency contact information, an old faded picture fell onto the ground. The back read: Alexander Trigger, 1985. Flipping it over Tara gasped at the 25 year old Tig in a military uniform in front of the American flag.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N Hi there! Sorry its been so long since my last update. I went through an awful breakup then my little brother had to move in with me after my mom and him had a huge fight. So I'm adjusting to living with an 18 year old lol. I'm going to be working very hard to complete this story, don't worry I won't wait so long to update the next chapter.

A/N I do not own anything SOA (expect my blue SAMCRO hoodie I got from my bestie for Christmas!)

Opie raced into the hospital, after getting a call from Lyla saying there was an accident, and Tara went to the hospital with a man in a motorcycle accident. Lyla was too freaked out to remember if the man was wearing any kind of cut, so Opie hurried there to make sure it wasn't any enemies with Tara. Reaching the end of the hallway that led to the E.R., Opie rushed up to a pacing Tara.

"Hey, what the hell happened? Do you know the guy? What was he wearing?"

"He isn't in any MC from what I could tell. But I think we might know him or his father at least." Tara pulled out the picture of Tig she had placed in her back pocket and handed it to Opie.

"Holy shit." Opie was transfixed by the picture.

"Yeah, the back says 1985 and the guy's ID is from New Mexico. Tig ever say anything about having a son?"

"No. He has twin daughters but never said anything about a son. Did the guy look like him?"

"Yeah, has the piercing blue eyes and curly hair."

"Holy shit." Opie repeated. "Is he going to be ok?"

"Yeah, he's got a busted leg, a concussion, and a deep cut. He'll be here for a couple days to make sure his head scans stay clean and his leg sets right. "

"That's good. Is he awake?" Opie asked, already anxious to find out everything about this man.

"Not yet. I think I'm going to wait around to talk to him. See if he came here for Tig and whatnot."

"That sounds good. I'll have Phil stay here with you. Call me when you are heading out so I can escort you back to the clubhouse."

"Ok, thanks Opie." As Opie walked away Tara decided to find out how Anthony was doing and when he might wake up.

"Hey Melissa, what's going on with the man that was in the motorcycle accident?" Tara asked one of the nurses walking around.

"They brought him up to the 3rd floor recovery wing, Dr. Knowles."

"Thank you." Tara went upstairs and found Anthony's doctor. He told Tara he should be waking up in the next hour. Tara decided to visit Pretty Pete, she hadn't been able to find time to visit him yet.

Walking into Pete's room, you would have thought a Sons of Anarchy bomb blew up in there. There were balloons and flowers bearing the reaper in every corner of the room. Tara smiled thinking how SOA always made sure the wounded were shown gratitude and respect. Pete's eyes cracked open after hearing the door.

"Oh Doc, you shouldn't be here."

"Don't worry, I have a prospect tailing me. How are you doing, Pete?"

"I'm doing great, Hun. Doctors say if I can walk on my own and not get too winded, I can finish my recovery at home."

"That's great, Pete. I'm really sorry you got injured protecting me."

"Don't worry about it. Any kind of man would take a bullet for a woman, especially a pregnant one."

"Well, I am still extremely grateful to you and if you ever need anything or any help with your recovery you come and find me, ok?"

"Ok, Hun. Thank you. How's your shoulder?"

"It's fine. Rarely bugs me anymore."

"That's good. I'm glad."

The two of them talked for about 20 minutes before Tara's stomach growled fiercely reminding her she hasn't eaten since breakfast. She walked down to the cafeteria with Phil in tow.

"So Tara, you doing ok?" Phil asked her as she sat quietly eating.

"Yeah, it's just when it rains it pours, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess it does. You've had enough rain for a couple years though."

"It'll calm down. Eventually. Hey I need to get the nursery painted and the whole house done really. You and Rat should start that this week. I want to go shopping tomorrow, ok?"

"Whatever you want, my job is to do your bidding and be your shadow, mind you a rather large shadow."

Tara laughed; she liked Phil; he was a sweet guy with a big heart. "Thank you, so I'm going to see the guy that was in the motorcycle accident and then I'm going to the clubhouse, ok?"

"Ok, I'll be right behind you." With that, they headed back up to the third floor. Entering Anthony's room, Tara was happy to see he was awake.

"Hey, I'm Doctor Tara Knowles, I was on the scene when you hit the van, Anthony."

"Call me Tony, Doc. Thanks for your help, pretty lucky for me you were there, but the other doctor already filled me in on my leg and shit."

"That's good, but I'm not here as a doctor. I'm here because I found this picture in your pocket." Tara showed Tony the picture of Tig. "How do you know this man?"

Tony scrunched his eyebrows together and remained silent. Tara could tell he was nervous and maybe a little uncomfortable with her but she needed answers. "I'm dating the VP of SAMCRO and this is a picture of the Sergeant of Arms. I want to know how you got it."

"My mom had it. She told me when I was young that my dad died in the military but then she passed a month ago and I found that picture in her stuff. Thought he looked like me. Google searched him and it led me here. Figured I'd check it out, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry to tell you but Tig is in prison. And he'll be there for another year."

"So he's really like an outlaw huh?" Tony said with disappointment.

"Yeah, but he's a good man. Very loyal, very honest, and pretty funny, too." Tara understood how being an outlaw is viewed as a bad thing, but not all outlaws were bad people. She really wanted Tony to know his father the way Tig was as a person, not the outlaw.

"Do you think he knows about me?"

"I doubt it. I think he would have been around if he knew."

"Do you know if there's a way I could get a DNA test done with him being in prison? You know, just to make sure."

"Yeah, I can call the prison and explain the situation. I'm sure they'd let me come and get a blood sample from Tig."

"You don't have to go to any trouble cause of me, Doc."

"Don't worry about it. I'm on injury leave with the hospital," Tara looked down at her shoulder that was still in a sling with raised eyebrows, "and I'm sure Tig would want to hear about you from me instead of some prison doctor."

"All right."

Tara found out that Tony is 25 years old, he was born and raised in New Mexico, his mother's name was Maria Gonzales and she was a Mexican immigrant.

"Well I'll call the prison and hopefully, I can go tomorrow. I'll stop over after I see him and let you know what's going on."

"Thanks, Doc."

"No problem. Have a good night Tony." Tara walked out the door and wasn't surprised to see Phil munching on chips in the hallway. "Call Opie, I'm ready to go home." Tara went and said hi to Margret and some other people she worked with while they waited for Opie. As soon as he was there, Tara was leading the way to Gemma's in the Cutlass to get her baby and then heading to the clubhouse. Opie pulled up alongside of her car.

"Did you reach anyone at the prison?" He asked her as soon as she was out of her seat.

"No, it was just an answering machine. I'll try again in the morning." Tara took Abel out of his car seat and started walking to the clubhouse. Opie grabbed her elbow and had her return to facing him. He leaned forward and said lowly, "If you can get up there take Phil and Kozik. And let Tig know the Russians agreed to the deal. We're going to be selling them guns at price to repay the $2 million for Jimmy O. They agreed they wouldn't be hunting us down anymore inside or outside prison walls. You can relax Tara, your family's going to be safe." Tara couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face.

"Thank God!" She gave Opie a quick hug. She felt a million times lighter knowing Jax and she were safe from sneak attacks.

"Yeah, you could probably go back home if you wanted to." Opie suggested.

"I'm making the prospects paint the house this week. I told Phil he had to go shopping with me tomorrow after our prison excursion so I think I'll just stay here until the house is done."

"Sounds good, Tara. Now get inside and put your feet up."

"Aye aye captain." Tara mock saluted him and headed into the clubhouse. She fed herself and Abel before heading to bed.

"Tragger, you got a visitor." The big brute of a prison guard barked across the yard.

"What the fuck? Who'd be visiting your sorry ass?" Juice asked Tig.

"I don't know. What day is it?" Tig asked as he slowly started to walk back toward the prison building.

"It's Monday, man. Maybe its Rosen." Jax supplied. Inmates only got visitors on Saturday so their lawyer was the only logical explanation to the mystery visitor.

"Maybe. I'll see you guys in a bit." Tig said as he walked away feeling confused.

Entering the visitor's room he was surprised to see Tara sitting there alone. They had the room completely to themselves plus a guard.

Tara stood when Tig entered the room and immediately walked toward him giving him a hug, something she would never had considered doing before she was kidnapped and Tig had been so sweet to her.

"Doc, what are you doing here? You didn't travel alone, did you?" Tig said looking down at Tara while she was still circled his arms. "Is everyone alright?"

"Phil came with me and everyone's fine .But Tig I have some interesting news for you. Sit down." Tara walked out of Tig's arms and took a seat as Tig did the same, on the other side of the table.

Watching Tara from across the table, Tig was getting nervous. She was wringing her hands and couldn't look him in the eye. After a minute, when it looked like Tara was going to continue being quiet, he asked, "Come on Doc, what's going on?"

"Well Tig, I witnessed a motorcycle accident, young guy like 25 drove right into the back of a van."

"And?"

"He had this picture in his wallet." Tara slid the picture of Tig to him. "The guy's name is Anthony. He's from New Mexico and his mom's name is Maria Gonzales. Sound familiar?"

"Holy fuck, Maria Gonzales, no shit."

"So you do remember her?" Tara asked.

"Yeah, I was involved with her when I was in the Marines. She was my Commanding Officer's daughter. I was dishonorably discharged after her dad found out about us and fed a bunch of bullshit to the Court Marshall. I tried to write and call her but I never heard from her after I was forced to leave the base. Why does her son have a picture of" Tara could practically see the light bulb go off above his head as he looked at her with disbelief all over his face. "No fucking way, Doc!"

"Yeah. Maria told Tony his father died in the military but then she died a little while ago and he found this picture. He searched for your name online and came to Charming. I have to tell you, he has your eyes and hair."

"Holy shit." Tig seemed at a loss for words. He ran his hand over his face and rested it on his chin. Leaning back in his chair staring intently at the ceiling he said in wonder, "I have a son."

Tara couldn't believe he was accepting Tony as his son so easily. "It looks that way. I brought supplies to draw blood from you for a DNA test. Thought you would want prove it."

That seemed to snap Tig of his daze, "Yeah, that's a good idea, Doc."

Tara walked around to the other side of the table as Tig placed his arm on the table. She wiped alcohol on his arm and jabbed him with the needle quickly. As she sat next to him and pulled the blood out of his body with the syringe she whispered very quietly as not to be overheard, "Ope said everything went good with Russians. They accepted the deal. Everyone's safe." Tig nodded his understanding.

"So how is Anthony doing after his accident?" Tig decided that he really hoped Anthony was his son. He always wanted to have a boy, even if it was a 25 year old boy that fell from the sky.

"Well, he had a concussion and a broken leg but he'll be fine. No permanent damage. He goes by Tony, by the way."

"Tony, huh? I'm glad he'll be ok. You better not be exhausting yourself or anything over this. Jax would kill me if you were taking too much on, Tara."

Tara smiled. All the men in the club were so sweet to her. She was pretty sure all of them were scared of Jax's wrath so they made sure Tara had nothing bad to say about them to him. "Don't worry Tig. I haven't done any medicine besides check Tony for a concussion and draw your blood. I'm taking it easy; I'm letting my body heal properly."

", time's up." The guard by the door announced.

"Ok." Tara yelled back to the guard. "I'm almost done here." Turning back to Tig Tara said, "Can you give this to Jax for me Tig?" Tara handed Tig an envelope.

"Absolutely, dear." Tig folded the letter and stuffed in his pocket. "When will you get the results of the test?"

"It should take about a week, maybe two if the lab is backed up. I'll let you know as soon as I know anything."

"Ok, thanks Doc. For everything." Tig gave Tara a quick hug before he was led out of the visiting room and back to the yard.

Entering the yard Tig made a beeline to where all the SONS were gathered.

"Was it Rosen?" Clay asked, as soon as Tig was close.

"No. It was Tara."

"What the fuck? Why did she come here to visit you?" Jax asked, as he immediately felt his blood start to boil. He walked up to Tig pushing out his chest getting right into his face.

"Calm down, man. It ain't like that and you know it." Tig had stepped back a step and Juice had stepped between them to ensure a fight wouldn't start.

"Then what is it like man?" Jax said it a quiet voice filled with anger. He was a little sore still from being shanked but he would beat the shit out of Tig if he was trying to make a move on Tara.

"Tara witnessed a man crash into a van yesterday and the guy claims he's my son. Had a picture of me in his wallet. She came here to tell me and get a blood sample for a DNA test."

"Holy shit, brother. That's heavy shit. You think it's possible?" Clay said completely bewildered by Tig's announcement.

"Yeah. His mother is the girl I was dating my year in Texas. Doc says he has my eyes and curly hair. I should have the results of the DNA test in a week or two."

"Wow, man. Sorry I was such an ass there." Jax said with a nervous little smile. "I just" Jax fell silent as he tried to figure out how to put into words his feelings about Tara and his insecurities about her while he was trapped in jail. "worry too much I guess." He laughed trying to ease the tension that had settled over the little group.

"No worries, brother. She gave me this letter to give to you," Tig handed Jax the letter. Jax stuck it in his pocket to read later, away from all the guys. "She also said that the meet went well with the Russians. They agreed to the deal, everyone inside and out are safe."

All the men breathed a sigh of relief. They were all on edge for the last week, watching every moment out of the corners of their eyes, jumping at every noise, sleeping with one eye open, and worrying about their loved ones on the outside. Jax decided to go to the library to read Tara's letter. Reclining in one of the least shitty chairs, Jax pulled out the letter.

_Jax,_

_I'm sure Tig told about all the excitement going on here in Charming so I'm not going to get into it, but I still can't believe Tig has a son. I crashed at your mom's on Saturday night, we had a fun girl's night watching old home videos and looking at pictures of you and Thomas as kids. I was amazed by you when I went into your old room to sleep and saw my old drawer. You kept everything, didn't you babe? I found a photo strip of us from when we were 17 in there. It was from Fun town and we were all over each other, do you remember how you almost convinced me to have sex with you in there? Too bad Opie had to let us know there was a very impatient line forming; otherwise I would have had a way more graphic photo propped against the alarm clock._

Jax chuckled remembering how he had his hands under Tara's bra; hers were under his shirt running up and down his back when Opie hissed through the curtain that people were talking about getting a manager over there to get them out.

_I've been thinking about baby names a lot lately. For a girl (which I know you and Gemma are convinced won't happen, but I still want us to be prepared) I like the name Brooke Marie, after my mother. And for a boy, I'd like to name him Thomas Jackson._

Jax had to stop reading for a minute due to an overwhelming rush of emotions. He was so happy Tara wanted to name their son after his dead brother. Thomas had been his best friend and his death had left its mark on Jax's heart_. _

_Seeing as Abel's middle name is John, I thought it'd be fitting to name our second son after Thomas and yourself_. _Speaking of Abel, I started him on baby food today. He eats cereal now and I've just started making homemade baby food. Hopefully he has your taste buds and will eat anything. I've decided to paint the interior of the house, by the way. After I leave the prison today, Phil and I are going to the hardware store and getting supplies to decorate the baby's room. I'm thinking the prospects are going to repaint the whole house. It needs a little sprucing up and redecorating. I was even thinking about sending them to my father's house to finish that up so I can sell it eventually. _

Jax was happy to read that Tara was making the prospects paint the house. He felt the worry he has had since he went on the inside, of Tara running away, lessen a little bit. She's talking about selling her father's house. She wouldn't run away if she was putting all this work into his house, correction, Jax thought, our house. Because his house will be his and Tara's and their boys, it'll be their home. For as long as he's living, Jax's home will always be wherever Tara and the kids are.

_Opie tells me the Russians are no longer a problem which is a blessing. The guys have been really good about keeping the clubhouse PG since Abel and I have moved in, but being in our home will be so much more comfortable. Anyway, I have to get ready to drive out to you guys. I love you baby, as do our children. Abel and I will see you Saturday._

_XOXO Tara_

A/N, I almost forgot. Thanks to Northwoman for being my beta. I'm very grateful to her and her keen eye for grammar. And also make sure you all hit that review button. I love hearing from all you and reviews help me stay motivated.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I don't own anything

Jax made his way back to his cell. He couldn't get images of Thomas out of his head after reading Tara's letter. He kept coming back to the same memory he had of Thomas before he had gotten sick.

_Opie and himself were 9 and Thomas was 4. Thomas loved to follow the older boys around and try to play with them. Neither of the older boys were too happy about their tail so one afternoon, Jax decided to test Tommy. Opie and Jax were racing back and forth up the lot of TM on their bikes. Thomas wanted to join in but he didn't have a bike so he just kept running around them and more than a couple times got in the way of the boys' races. _

"_Hey Thomas, you like hanging out with me and Opie, right?" Jax asked him with a mischievous gleam in his eye._

"_Yeah, Jax. You guys are so cool." _

"_Well, we don't like hanging out with babies. So if you want to play with us you have to become a big kid." Jax told him in all seriousness._

"_How do you become a big kid?" Thomas asked them, eyes full of intrigue._

"_Yeah Jax, how do you become a big kid?" Opie asked Jax wondered what he had up his sleeve for his little brother._

"_You have to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. Then after you can do that, you're a big kid!" Jax said throwing his hands into the air and with all the enthusiasm he could muster._

"_I can do it, Jax!" Thomas raced over to Jax's bike and was trying to swing his leg over it, but it was too tall for him. Jax walked up behind him and lowered the seat. Opie held on to the bike as Jax helped Thomas get situated on the seat._

"_All right bro, I'm gonna walk with you for a little bit, holding the bike up, then let go. You gotta keep your balance and peddle. Think you can do that?" Jax asked Thomas. It took Jax a couple hours and many falls to master the two wheel bike and he had been 5 so he was confident that Thomas wouldn't be able ride the bike. He'd probably fall once, get hurt, then run crying to Gemma. Then he'd leave him and Opie alone and sit with his mom in the office._

"_I can do it, Jax!" Thomas said full of excitement and a wide smile spanning his face. Jax smiled back at him. _

_Jax walked around the lot with Thomas letting him figure out what he was supposed to be doing. He showed him how to peddle and how to peddle backwards to stop. Thomas was fully concentrated on the bike. _

"_All right bro, I'm gonna let go. 3….2…..1!" Thomas looked so nervous, Jax thought he might puke. His face got white, his hands gripped more tightly on the handlebars, and his legs locked up. He went about two feet before the bike tipped over. Jax walked over to him and set him on his feet with a small smile, gracing his face._

"_You ok, bro?" Jax looked him over and didn't see any obvious injuries. Thomas looked himself over. His elbow had a scratch. He showed Jax who shrugged it off. "You're fine buddy."_

"_Can I try again, Jax? I won't fall again." Thomas was so hopeful Jax decided he would let him try again. And again. And again. And again. On the fifth try, Thomas got it! Jax was so excited he grabbed Thomas by his middle and picked him up. Thomas was beaming up at Jax, so happy he was a big kid now just like his idol, Jax._

_It may have started out as a way to get Thomas to leave him and Opie alone, but Jax was now so happy and proud of Thomas he forgot all about his ulterior motives._

"_Great job Tommy!," with Jax still carrying him around his middle and Opie following behind them he led them to the office of TM and told his mom how he taught Thomas how to ride a big kid bike. Then the boys went into the clubhouse so Jax could tell his dad, Clay, Piney, and any other members around all about how his 4 year old brother can ride a two wheeler! _

"_JT, those boys are going to be on Harleys before we know it." Piney stated as he patted John Teller on his back as he walked past him to the boys. _

_Squatting down next to Jax, Opie, and Thomas, who had all heard what Piney said and were excited at the idea of riding a Harley, Piney said, "I think you boys deserve a little treat after such an accomplishment. How about we go get ice cream?" All three boys jumped up and down in joy shouting their answers of "YES!" _

Coming back to reality, Jax realized that day was one of the last times he saw Tommy happy. He started to get sick soon after that and spent the remainder of his life in hospitals or at home lying in bed. Jax missed his little brother more than he'd ever admit. Some days Jax would think, what would Tommy have been like as an adult? Would he be in the club? Or would he have moved away and became something more than an outlaw? Jax likes to think he would have moved away and went to college like Tara had done. Make a life for himself away from the blood and danger that was the MC. As these thoughts were running through his head, Jax decided to write to Tara.

_Tara baby,_

_ God do I miss you. Every minute of every day I am thinking about you and the babies. This place is twisting me up inside and thoughts of you and our boys are the only thing keeping me sane. I keep thinking about how I treated you when Abel was missing. I don't even recognize the man I had become. While I was in Belfast, I told myself that you were better off without me, that you'd be able to live a normal safe life, far from the MC. I convinced myself I was poison and the reason your work was all going to shit. I figured being with me was going to drag you down and harden you, like Gemma. I love you for who you are. I don't ever want to change you. I know now that you can handle anything and it was unfair to make decisions for you. I still believe I am the cause of your problems but you're the solution to all of mine. I'm so happy you didn't leave me, that my plan to push you away backfired. I know I have apologied about Ima and I know it wasn't easy for you to get over and forgive me. But I will be forever grateful you did. Because I don't know what I would be like if I didn't have you writing to me, visiting me, and most importantly waiting for me at home with the boys when I finally get to leave this goddamn hell. _

_I'm beyond happy with your ideas for baby names. The girl's name is pointless but cute. I think Thomas would be a perfect name for our son, but for a middle name, I'd prefer Winston over Jackson. Piney was like a father to me and Opie is my closest brother. I'd love to honor them both by giving our son their name also. So please consider it. :)_

_I'm so proud of you, baby. You're out there taking care of our son, stitching up my brothers, helping deal with illegitimate kids dropping from the sky, and just plain keeping everything together. I'd be so lost without you, baby. I love you. I need you. Can't wait to see you and Abel this weekend. _

_ Xoxo,_

_Jax_

_P.S. You shouldn't be surprised I kept that drawer full of our memories. You may have been gone physically but you have been in my heart and thoughts for fifteen years. I could never get over, you baby._

Meanwhile, Tara was making the drive back to Charming with Phil. Once in Charming, they went to the hospital first to drop off the DNA sample at the lab. Then they made their way to the hardware store. Tara picked out paint for the baby's room, the living room, the hallway, and the kitchen. She had decided that the whole house needed a makeover. She really wanted the house to become cozy and not so much like a bachelor pad. She even talked to the man at the counter and found someone to replace the flooring in the kitchen. Right now she had a rug over Kip's bloodstain, but she wanted a permanent solution so hardwood floors sounded perfect. Tara and Phil made their way to Jax's house and started to unload the supplies from the Cutlass, when Tara got a text from Gemma, "come to my house immediately, we have a visitor".

"Shit. Phil we have to go to Gemma's. Now." Tara didn't wait for Phil to respond as she made her way back into the Cutlass. If Gemma was texting her something like that it must be important and the person must be hovering because Gemma usually isn't so vague. Tara sent back a quick text, 'be there in 15 minutes', then she decided to call Lyla to check on Abel as she waited for Phil to get all the supplies in the house.

"Hello?" Lyla answered, out of breath on the third ring.

"Hey Lyla, how's it going? Is Abel being good?"

"Of course, Tara. He's always an angel. Ellie really likes pretending she's babysitting him all by herself. She always wants to be the one to feed him, change him, burp him. It's cute."

"That sounds cute, I'm sure one day she'll make a great babysitter. Did anything unusual happen today?" Phil had finally made his way into the car, so Tara hurriedly sped out of the driveway and made her way towards Gemma's.

"What do you mean? We've just been at home since you dropped Abel off this morning."

"Nothing. Just making sure the little prince is ok. I have to stop at Gemma's for a little while; I'm going to drop Phil off at your house." Tara wasn't going to take any chances with Abel's safety again and seeing as Opie and Lyla live on the way to Gemma's it wouldn't even take too much time to stop quickly. "I'm probably just being paranoid but I'd feel better if he was there with you guys and Abel. I'll be back to pick them both up when I'm done with Gemma. Thanks again for watching him Lyla." Tara decided against telling Lyla the whole truth, Gemma just might be being dramatic.

"No problem, Tara. He's always welcome here. Are you sure everything's ok? "

"Yeah, it's just Gemma sent me a weird text so I'm just being cautious I guess. I'll fill you in when I come back for the guys."

"Ok. Be safe. Bye."

"Bye." Tara hung up the phone and started guessing who might be at Gemma's. Could it be the feds? Maybe they figured out what happened to Stahl. Maybe it was a member from Salazar's crew. Maybe it was Maureen making sure Jax got the letters. Tara didn't pull into the Winston driveway. She just parked on the side of the road and waited for Phil to get out.

With his hand on the door handle, Phil turned to Tara, "Are you sure I shouldn't come with you? Maybe the person at Gemma's isn't friendly?"

"I'd feel better if Abel was safe. Plus Gemma probably has Kozik or Chibs at the house."

"Ok, be careful, Tara."

"Always, Phil." As soon as he shut the door behind him, Tara was off to Gemma's again.

Pulling into Gemma's driveway Tara spotted a Saturn Ion. 'Hmmm doesn't look like a fed car or a car a member of an MC would drive.' Tara thought to herself. She also saw Kozik standing outside the kitchen door, smoking.

"Hey Doc, how's it going?"

"That depends on who's in there with Gemma." Tara felt better knowing Kozik didn't feel the need to be inside, 'must not be a threat' she thought to herself.

"They said they were family, I'm right here if you need anything, doll. Where's Phil?"

"I dropped him off at Lyla's to be near Abel." Kozik nodded his understanding so Tara entered without knocking through the kitchen door. Tara's mouth dropped open in shock as the women sitting at the dining room table drinking tea, stood up.

"Wendy, what are you doing here?" Tara demanded, as her stomach dropped. "If you're here to take Abel from me you have another thing coming."

"Tara, calm down. I'll make you some tea. Come sit down." Gemma said as she led Tara by the elbow to the table. "That would never happen," she whispers in Tara's ear. She then returns to the kitchen for the tea. Tara and Wendy sat across from one another, never taking their eyes off the other.

"Well?" Tara asked. She wasn't in any mood to wait around and make small talk.

"Tara, Abel is my son. You know this because you were there to take him out of me. I know you love him but so do I."

"Was it that _love_ that had you shooting crack into your veins during your pregnancy?" Tara asked with her voice full of venom.

"I make no excuses for my idiotic behavior. It will always be something I am ashamed of. But I'll let you know I've been drug free for almost a year now."

Gemma had reentered the dining room with the cup of tea and placed it in front of Tara. She sat at the head of the table looking between the two women who had both loved her son and had been her sworn enemies at different times of her life.

"Gemma. Do you think you could give us a couple minutes alone?" Tara saw the uncomfortable glance Wendy had given Gemma. Whatever Wendy wanted would probably be easier to deal with without the queen of bikers intimidating her. Tara gives Gemma a look saying she wants to deal with Wendy alone.

"Yeah, sure. I'll be right outside smoking with Kozik if you need anything, dear." Gemma said to Tara. Then turned to Wendy giving her a 'I'm watching you look' before walking outside.

"So…" Tara begins again.

"Seems like you and Gemma have worked out your differences." Wendy said. Last time she was around, Gemma was trying to destroy Tara.

"Yeah, we've been through a lot together this past year." Tara wasn't sure how to handle this conversation but she was going to let Wendy led it. She didn't need Wendy running to a lawyer or doing anything out of spite.

"I can't believe Abel is almost a year old already. How's he doing? How's his heart condition?"

"He's great, hasn't had any problems since he got out of the hospital. Jax has tried to get a hold of you many times, why did you leave your sober living house in Lincoln Square?"

"I had to put some distance between myself and Charming. I live in Seattle now. I recently started taking some college courses."

"Good for you." Tara was starting to get impatient.

"What happened to your arm?" Wendy asked, acknowledging the sling Tara has on her left arm.

"I was in the gas station and a man collapsed on me. I landed on my shoulder." Tara wasn't going to tell Wendy the truth. She still wasn't sure what she wanted.

"Wow. That sucks. Is it broken?" Wendy asked.

"I just have a hairline fracture." Tara replied.

Wendy started to shift uncomfortably in her chair, "So, I went by the garage looking for Jax. Opie was there. Told me the guys are in prison."

"Yeah." Tara waited for her to continue.

"So, you've been raising Abel alone?"

"I have plenty of help. Gemma's been really great through all this."

"Yeah I bet she has. Anyway, I came today to give you these." Wendy bent over and pulled an accordion folder out of her purse and set it on the table. She pulled out a stack of papers. "These are my custody rights."

Tara reached across the table and started flipping through them unsure of what she was seeing. "I don't understand, Wendy."

"I'm giving up my custody rights. I love Abel with all my heart. I want the best for him but I know I'm not the best he can have. I know you and Jax are meant to be together. I've known that for as long as I've known Jax. I've always heard people say things about you in whispers. When we got married, Jax was shitfaced wasted. We were in Vegas and he proposed over a buffet table. It wasn't until we got back and were telling everyone at the clubhouse about our spontaneous wedding when I heard Gemma ask him if the wedding had anything to do with it being your birthday. Made me realize he was only with me because he missed you. That's when I started using crack."

"So it's my fault you were a crack whore?" Tara asked. She liked hearing about how miserable Jax had been without her, because she had felt the same way. No one ever compared to Jax. And he deserved to be miserable, Tara thought, he chose to stay when she left.

"No, it was my own fault. I take full responsibility for my actions. The point of my story is that you're always going to be a part of Jax's life so you'll always be a part of Abel's. I'm waiving my custody rights to give you guys some peace of mind. I need to get my life straightened out and don't want to fight. Ok? Will you please be the mother to my son that he deserves?" Wendy asked, as tears formed in her eyes and spilled unchecked down her cheeks.

"Of course, Wendy. Thank you for doing this. I promise I will care for him as if I had given birth to him myself." Tara stood and walked around the table and gave Wendy a hug which was returned. "I do love him, with my whole heart." Tara pulled back and looked her deep in the eyes.

"I know you do." Wendy stood up. "I have to get going. Thanks again for everything you're doing for Abel." Tara nodded as Wendy made her way out of the Morrow house.

Gemma reentered the house as soon as Wendy had backed out of her driveway with Kozik hot on her heels.

"I can't believe you just did that Gemma." Kozik said laughing as he was walking behind her toward Tara who was still sitting at the table.

Tara looked up from the paperwork she was looking through and saw the famous Gemma Teller smirk gracing her face. "What did you say to her?"

"Nothing, I just gave her some money." Tara gave her the 'I don't believe you' look. "Ok fine, I gave her $300 and told her to get her crow removed or covered up before I burn it off of her."

"Gemma," Tara began.

"No, she never should have got that crow in the first place. She was never meant to be Jax's old lady she isn't strong enough to handle it. And anyways she said 'Thanks, I've been saving up to get it covered'. What did she say to you?"

"She signed away her custody rights, she asked me to take care of Abel. Not at all what I was expecting when I saw her sitting here."

"Wow. That's great, Tara. Now you are even closer to being able to adopt Abel." Kozik said.

"Exactly. I'm going to go see Lowen, see what my next step is. See you guys later."

Tara got into her Cutlass feeling happier than she had felt in a long time. She drove the familiar roads unseeing as her mind was going over the past year and everything that had led her to where she was now. It was a hard road she had traveled but it was worth it, she was finally going to have a happy family with her soul mate. The only thing that could have made this day better would have been Jax being there with her.

******************************************************************************So, what did you guys think? Love it? Hate it? I have a few quick comments to make. First, thanks to Northwoman for being my wonderful beta. Second, in season 4 they say Wendy signed away her custody rights and that she went to Tara because of all she has done for Abel. That made me think Wendy and Tara must have had a talk during the 14 month prison term. I could be totally wrong but I feel like she wanted to do the best for Abel but then decided she wanted to actually get to know him. Lastly, I'm toying with the idea to time jump to when Tara has the baby next chapter. I have a lot of ideas going either way so please message me or review telling me what you guys would prefer. Thanks for reading!


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